The Size of a Life

A hummingbird got into our garage and I found it, exhausted on a shelf.  Unable to rise, it lay there and I was uncertain if it was still alive until I took its tiny body in my hand and felt it attempting to flutter its wings.

It was so small, defenseless against me.  I gently took it outside and opened my hand and waited.  In a few moments, the tiny bird began to beat its wings and then flew off.

As I watched it go, I knew that it is not size that makes a life important. Though I could have crushed the life out of this tiny bird with a little squeeze of my hand, it would have broken my heart to do so.

While I had nothing to do with giving this tiny bird life.  It still seemed beautiful and valuable to me and I knew there was heavenly Father who had seen it fall trembling within my garage.

It made me wonder about abortion.  For, what kind of doctor can reach out and deliberately snuff out a life that is growing inside an expectant mother?

I know that my heavenly Father does not value a life differently, just because it is small and defenseless.  He it is who opens His hands to receive in those fragile ones who go from this earth unloved, undesired, and unborn.

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.  But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."  Matthew 10:29-31

Car Seat Distress

It was just forty-five minutes after we had left home that the crying started.  Elliot, just eighteen months old at the time, was tired of sitting in his car seat.  No amount of offered activities or toys would console him.

Still we drove on.  If Elliot had only known, we were taking this trip, both to visit the zoo and to see his grandparents.  Even so, I doubt that understanding this would have made much of a difference.  He was just fed up with his car seat and the trip.

As I think of the journey that I have travelled, there have been many moments where I was not too different from my son.  I knew God's promises, but I did not really believe that He was taking me anywhere that I really wanted to go.

Verses like Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end" would rise before me and I was unable to see it.  For I could not see how the results of such a journey could be a blessing.

My Father is wise and He leads me well.  Every hard journey has had a blessing in the end -- some of them found in the midst of darkest days. 

Giver or Taker?

The offering plate passed from person to person in the row in front of us.  I gave my son, Vince, two, one dollar bills to put in the basket.

He clutched them in his small, three-year old hand.  The man beside me handed me the basket and I held it down for Vince.  Reluctantly, he deposited the dollar bills in the basket and then, just as I was about to pass it on, he grabbed a twenty dollar bill out of the plate.

Of course, I made him put it back right away.  Then, I passed the basket on quickly, before he could start rifling through the checks.

Yet, if I am honest, my tendency is to emulate my son's behavior.  I give two, but expect twenty in return.

Vince can be excused, for he doesn't really understand the value of money -- to him, it's just green pieces of paper, but I do understand.  Even as I over value my contributions to Christ's kingdom, I tend to minimize and even forget His daily gifts for me.

John F. Kennedy said famously "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."  In the same way, we ought to givers -- men and women who give without the thought, much less the expectation of something in return.

To tell the truth, it doesn't matter how much I give to God, I am the winner in the end.  For I have found that when you give whole heartedly, you don't have to take, instead God gives to you in ways that you never imagined He would.

Insomnia

"I'm not getting any lighter," the elderly man moaned as he stepped on the scale.  "Problem is that my chair is just too close to my refrigerator."

We walked back to the exam room, his wife trailing along behind.

"So," I asked him.  "What brings you in today?"

"Well, Doc," Robert said.  "I've been having trouble sleeping.  It just feels like I never get into a deep sleep and then I wake up and can't go back to sleep.  It makes me tired all of the time."

I asked him a number of questions and then I asked him "Do you drink many caffeinated drinks each day?"

"No, not really," he said.

At this point, his wife broke her silence.  "Come on, Bob," she said.  "You drink a lot of caffeine."

"Well, I do drink a couple of cups of coffee every morning..." Robert began.

"You drink coffee all day!" Fay interrupted him.  "And when you're not drinking that, you're drinking Diet Mountain Dew."

Robert shrugged.  "I suppose you are right."

I looked at Robert.  "I think that's a good part of your problem.  Caffeine is a stimulant and even if you could drink that much when you were younger, it is probably keeping you from resting well now."

"I never thought of that," Robert said.

"I've told you a hundred times you needed to cut back," his wife said.

"But where did you get your medical degree from?"  Robert shot back. "The University of Bolgna?"

This encounter made me sad for a couple of reasons.  First of all, Robert's wife, after many years of marriage had not learned how to truly communicate with her husband.  Communication is not the same thing as speaking.  Rather it is the encouragement of conversation, the beginning of dialogue.

Even worse though, was the fact that Robert was not able to accept good advice, because it came from the wrong source.

I would never refuse to open a package because it had the wrong color bow, but all too often I refuse to accept a message because it arrived too early in the morning or, the messenger was wearing the wrong style of pants.

In the end, it is crucial to identify good advice (and criticism), regardless of the source.  For, if I ignore such advice, it is not the person who gives the advice who suffers, but I, who cannot accept words of admonition.

Stillness

There is a real tendency to equate busyness with importance.  This is true on both a personal level and in business, as well.

It is really hard for me to deal with this, because I do tend to fill up my schedule to the maximum and feel pressure to push past that point.  At the same time, I don't deal very well with unscheduled down time.

On vacations, I need to have something to do every day.  Lounging around is not enough.  I will be intentional about my times of relaxation, even if it destroys any sense of restfulness that might be there.

At the same time, I benefit just as much as anyone with the times of stillness and quietness, when my spirit can truly commune with God.  When I can write and pray in solitude and not feel the pressures of the day beating down on my life, I truly gain strength.

I know that many people have "bucket lists" -- things that they want to do someday, places they want to go.  As I write my list, I realize that quietness needs to move up.  In fact, maybe sometimes I need to stop writing lists and just learn to be still.

He Knows Me

Richard was sitting in my office for the first time since getting home.  He had spent two weeks in the hospital after having had a myocardial infarction (a heart attack).

One by one, we went over the changes in his medications.  There really were not many changes, just a new blood thinner and increased dosage of his blood pressure medication.

"I'm going to be going back to see my cardiologist in a couple of weeks," Richard told me.  "Would it be OK if I come in to see you after that?"

"Sure," I said.  "But I would trust him.  He is a heart specialist, you know."

"Yes," Richard responded seriously.  "But you know me."

This was what was important to him.  The cardiologist might be a brilliant doctor, but how could he know was the best medication for Richard, if he didn't really know Richard, the way I did?

God is the Lord of the Universe, the Ruler of the Million Galaxies, yet that is not a particularly compelling reason for me to trust Him.

It is perhaps for this reason that David explores a different theme in Psalm 139.  "O Lord, you have searched me and known me..."  This personal knowledge implies more than just omniscience, it indicates love and caring.  God has chosen to know me, to hear me and see me, wherever I am.

I can trust God to choose good paths for me, not just because He is wise (which He is).  I can trust Him, because He cares enough to know me.

No Dolphins

 

Anna and Vince were in a pretty hard to please state of mind when we went to the zoo.  Honestly, every time we said "Look Vince, a tiger!" (or whatever other animal we were looking at), Vince would reply emphatically "No Tiger!"

Then, when we left, Elaine asked Anna what her favorite animal was.  Anna thought just a little bit and the said "Dolphins."

Now, there are no dolphins at the Louisville Zoo.  "No," Elaine said.  "What was your favorite animal of the ones that we saw at the zoo?"

Anna said again, "Dolphins," and then as if to explain, she said, "I wish we had gone to a zoo that had dolphins at it."

Now, it has been a long time since we didn't go to the dolphin show at the Indianapolis Zoo, but Anna still remembers it quite well.  Yet, it does her no good to bring it up after we visited a very fine zoo and it only serves to make her seem ungrateful.

And it strikes me that the Father of Lights have given me many good gifts and even some perfect gifts.  And I see them and turn up my nose at them for, though they are nice, they are not really what I wanted.

And this does not make me feel any better, in fact, it makes my out look much gloomier than it should be.  Then too, it makes my heavenly Father displeased.  For, all of the good things He has planned for me are completely wasted by one ungrateful breath.


(This was written after a visit to the zoo in February of this year.  We went last Saturday and everybody had a much better time)...

Airport Bathroom Struggles

I was standing in a bathroom at an airport when a young boy caught my eye. He was in a stall and was experiencing great difficulties. He was trying to figure out how to flush a commode with an automatic flush device on it.

He started off pushing on the back of the toilet. Then, he began to hit it with his hands. Finally, when nothing else worked, he lined up and kicked it, like an NFL player making a game-winning field goal. Nothing happened. Disgusted and frustrated, he began to walk away when “hey presto” the toilet flushed itself.

Too often I am like this lad.  I push and pull at things I do not understand, trying to get them to work out. Rather than patiently waiting, I forge ahead.

Finally, when nothing works, I step aside and God, with a simple wave of His hand, flushes away my troubles. If only I had started with Him in the first place!

Now or Later

"Dad, can you come read a story with me?"  My daughter Anna asked plaintively.

"In just a few minutes," I said.  I was working on something that wasn't terribly important, but I didn't want to leave it till I was done with it.

I am sure that I am not alone in making my children wait.  Sometime there are important things that just need completion prior to anything else.

In Matthew 4, Jesus was walking by the Sea of Galilee and discovered John, James, Peter, and Andrew with their nets and asked them to follow Him.  The Scripture records that "Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed Him."

The priority that I give to a request, or command tells the person asking it how important they are to me.  I am afraid that all too often, I have left my children with them impression that "my stuff" is more important to me than they are.

It is even more important that I give a sense of urgency to the requests that my Savior makes upon my life.  For, if Jesus is All the World to Me, then the world must wait while I follow Jesus' voice and not the other way around.

I may try to put Jesus on hold when He calls, hoping to pick up the call when I am ready, but He may not still be there.  If Jesus is not given first place, He will have no place in my life.

Slow Communication

 

In 1775, just before the beginning of the American Revolution, General Thomas Gage began a crucial battle on the outskirts of the city of Boston.  This battle became known as the Battle of Bunker Hill (even though it was actually fought on nearby Breed's Hill).

In the end, the British won a very costly victory.  General Gage sent word to England immediately, requesting reinforcements.  The new took nearly three months to go from Boston to London and a similar amount of time to return.  It took six months for a few lines of communication to go from Boston to London.

In the years since, there have been major advances in communication technologies.  Speedier forms of travel, such as the steam engine and steam driven boats let messages travel from place to place a little faster, but then, Samuel F. Morse invented the telegraph and suddenly it took only a few moments for a message to go halfway across the country.  In the years since, different types of telephones have been created and now the internet allows messages to travel around the world in the blink of an eye.

Yet, with all of this technology, I am afraid that real communication probably occurs far less than ever before.  Because, real communication requires more than just a transfer of information, or the act of commenting on a Facebook photo. 

We are more connected than ever before and yet, in this connected world, it is far easier to be isolated.  It is far easier to avoid heart to heart, deep conversations.  For, real communication takes time.  It takes just as much time to open your heart to another and share things that are truly important as it did in the 1700s.

Technology has a way of shrinking the distance between locations, but it does nothing for the distances between people.  That requires communication and communication often takes time, effort and sometimes work.  In the end it is the one thing that will heal wounded relationships and damaged hearts in a way that technology never can.

"But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased." Hebrews 13:16

The Opposite of Pork

"Dad," my five year old daughter asked me.  "What is the opposite of pork?"

Now, I have taken some pretty hard tests -- medical board exams and others, and I have not come across a question that stumped me quite as much as this one.  "I don't know, Anna," I said.

"A spoon, Daddy!" she replied triumphantly.

Anna had just turned five and she was pretty random at times.  I still have no idea what brought this question and answer to her mind, but there was no way that I would get the right answer without her telling me.

It is easy to view life as a test from God, filled with unanswerable questions. 

"Who should I marry?" or, "What occupation should I take up?" or, "Should I move to Kansas or Ohio or, maybe California?"  It almost feels at times like an examination, in which not enough information has been given to supply an answer.

God knows the answer to each question.  He has chosen not to reveal the answers to us before His time.  This is because the test and its questions are not as important to the Almighty as what He hopes we learn through this test:  Trust."

Each "random" event we experience, each unpredictable scene we encounter demonstrates God's greatness and His care for us.  He knows the paths that we take.  We must learn that in the midst of uncertainty, we can always trust Him.

"But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me, I shall come out as gold." Job 23:10

A Big Case of Strep

The smallest deeds make the biggest difference in this world. This is particularly true when they are done in a spirit of giving and humility. I must confess that there have been many times that I have forgotten this. It seems that every time I forget, I am reminded of it by something in my life or practice.

In my three years of residency training I saw hundreds, possibly thousands of patients. Numerous times I was awakened in the middle of the night to admit dying patients or to go rushing up the stairs in a desperate attempt to stave off death in the Intensive Care Unit. In this whole three years I received only two thank you notes from patients. Of these two, one of them stands out clearly in my mind.

It was a busy day in my clinic in my second year of residency training. I was working in the office seeing patients after having been up most of the previous night on call. I was trying (unsuccessfully) to get done early when my nurse told me that the front office had added another patient on to my schedule.

I swallowed my frustration as I went in to see little Alex. He was just a year and a half old. His mother was a Russian immigrant and spoke poor English. She was on the brink of tears. She explained, in broken sentences, that Alex had run high fevers over the last two days and he was not drinking very much.

I examined him carefully and quickly discovered the source of the child’s fever. His tonsils were huge and swollen with white patches. A quick throat swab confirmed the diagnosis: Strep Throat. After my nurse had given him a shot of penicillin, I assured his mother that Alex would be better soon.

Two weeks later I received an envelope at the office. In it was a card from Alex’s mother, thanking me for curing her son. Reading the broken sentences within, you would have thought that I had saved Alex from death, not cured him from Strep Throat. Yet, in his mother’s eyes I had done much.

These are the things that matter most. It is said that we are called, not to do great things, but to do small things with great love. This is true.

To take care of small matters is very important. There are so many more cases of Strep Throat than there are cases of meningitis to treat and yet, there is a tendency to believe that those with Strep Throat don’t really matter since their problem is small in comparison. Nothing could be further from the truth, for problems that may seem small to others are huge to those experiencing them – even if they just have Strep Throat.

Luke 16:10 “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”

Strawberry Season

Strawberry season has come and gone.  It was a really good season this year.  Last year, southern Indiana had a late freeze and heavy rains that wiped out most of the crop, but this year was different.

The first day that we had strawberries, Elaine brought home three gallons.  The first bite of fresh strawberries is always amazing.  I always hate it when people say "there's nothing like it," when often there are similar things, but I don't know of any fruit that combines the flavor and juiciness of a fresh strawberry.

Of course, January strawberries from Wal-Mart are a different story.  They may look a lot like strawberries, but they aren't the same.

I made strawberry ice cream and Elaine made freezer jam.  We kept a box on our counter and Anna and Elliot made frequent stops to pop the juicy red berries in their mouths (leaving the caps all over the place).

Now, just a week and a half later, the season is over.  Ecclesiastes tells us that for everything there is a season.  In my experience, the time for eating fresh strawberries is a lot shorter than the time of planting, weeding, and strawing strawberry plants.

We do not get to choose what season of our lives we are in, when they come, or how long they last.  Unfortunately, the human tendency is to wish for the season we are not in, even in the midst of plenty.  It spoils things to wish for blueberries in strawberry season, or for sweet corn during blueberry season.

In the end, the greatest blessing is reached when we can enjoy the seasons of our lives as they come and then, gratefully bid them farewell as they leave.  For most of the seasons of our lives leave behind treasures and memories that will last for years and even sometimes a few frozen berries and pints of freezer jam.