Insomnia

"I'm not getting any lighter," the elderly man moaned as he stepped on the scale.  "Problem is that my chair is just too close to my refrigerator."

We walked back to the exam room, his wife trailing along behind.

"So," I asked him.  "What brings you in today?"

"Well, Doc," Robert said.  "I've been having trouble sleeping.  It just feels like I never get into a deep sleep and then I wake up and can't go back to sleep.  It makes me tired all of the time."

I asked him a number of questions and then I asked him "Do you drink many caffeinated drinks each day?"

"No, not really," he said.

At this point, his wife broke her silence.  "Come on, Bob," she said.  "You drink a lot of caffeine."

"Well, I do drink a couple of cups of coffee every morning..." Robert began.

"You drink coffee all day!" Fay interrupted him.  "And when you're not drinking that, you're drinking Diet Mountain Dew."

Robert shrugged.  "I suppose you are right."

I looked at Robert.  "I think that's a good part of your problem.  Caffeine is a stimulant and even if you could drink that much when you were younger, it is probably keeping you from resting well now."

"I never thought of that," Robert said.

"I've told you a hundred times you needed to cut back," his wife said.

"But where did you get your medical degree from?"  Robert shot back. "The University of Bolgna?"

This encounter made me sad for a couple of reasons.  First of all, Robert's wife, after many years of marriage had not learned how to truly communicate with her husband.  Communication is not the same thing as speaking.  Rather it is the encouragement of conversation, the beginning of dialogue.

Even worse though, was the fact that Robert was not able to accept good advice, because it came from the wrong source.

I would never refuse to open a package because it had the wrong color bow, but all too often I refuse to accept a message because it arrived too early in the morning or, the messenger was wearing the wrong style of pants.

In the end, it is crucial to identify good advice (and criticism), regardless of the source.  For, if I ignore such advice, it is not the person who gives the advice who suffers, but I, who cannot accept words of admonition.