Odd Things to be Thankful For

 

“Honey,” my beautiful wife told me.  “I have some bad news.”

My tendency towards catastrophizing kicked into overdrive.  “Is there something wrong with one of the children?”  I asked.  “Did you have an accident?”

“No, nothing like that,” Elaine reassured me.

“Then what?”  I was out of catastrophes that my mind could think of, although given another minute or two, I think I could have come up with more farfetched disasters.

“Well, as I was getting into the minivan, the door handle came off in my hand,” Elaine said.  “Now, you have to get someone to open the door for you from the inside – or you can go around to the passenger’s side and open it yourself.”

“Oh,” I said.  “Well, at least that is fixable.”

It is fixable, but it will take several days for the part to come in.  In the meantime, it is a struggle to get into the driver’s side of our van – and even more of struggle to drive if you don’t.

On the bright side of things, it is much harder for thieves to break into our van.  In fact, no one has stolen our van, nor anything out of it since this occurrence.

(I’m guessing that when thieves see our van, they run screaming in the other direction.  But I digress.)

I Thessalonians 5:18 says, “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

For whatever reason, our human tendency is not to appreciate the things that we have.  Health is something that many take for granted until such time as they are forced to wander into my office due to illness.

I trust that we can learn to value the things we have before we no longer have them.  Counting blessings is an important step to experiencing a happier life. 

I can say for certain that I have never been as thankful for a door handle on a vehicle as when my wife demonstrated her mighty strength by tearing ours off.

Detoxifying Tea!

 

“This tea is terrible!”  I said in a distressed voice to my wife.

“What tea is that?”  Elaine asked in a mild manner.

“This Sleepytime Detox tea,” I replied, still somewhat disgruntled.  “I’ve had Sleepytime Tea before and it was fine, although I guess I'm resistant to its effects because I never get sleepy after drinking it -- maybe that is my super power.  Anyway, it must be the detox part that I’m not dealing well with.  Have you tried it?”

“Sure,” she said.  “It was fine.  I’ve had it many times.”

“Not the Detox version,” I said.

“Yes,” she said firmly.  “I had the Detox version and I liked it fine.”

“I think the problem is that I have too many toxins in my system,” I said, a little defensively.  “My body is revolting at the idea of all of my toxins getting pulled out all at once.  They should have probably used this tea at Chernobyl -- it's just too strong for me.  And where are all these toxins going, may I ask?  Where are all my toxins going to go?”

“Don’t be so melodramatic,” Elaine said.  “You’ll be fine.  It probably isn’t doing anything anyway.  You just don’t like the taste.”

“I need someone to re-toxify me!”  I wailed.  “I’m just feeling too healthy!”

It is funny how people react to healthy diets and activities.  There are people who are firmly convinced that if they put something in their mouth and it tastes good, they should immediately spit it out as it must be bad for them.

Proverbs 13:15, 16 says, “Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors is hard.  Every prudent man dealeth with knowledge: but a fool layeth open his folly.”

Eating healthy foods is hard to do – at least when you first begin to do it, but in the long run, it is far easier than the alternative.  In the same way, following the path that God has set for us in His word is far easier than the path of sin, even if it looks harder.

The issue is not simply what the path asks of us, it is the consequences of taking that path.  You can choose your path, but you cannot choose where that path takes you.

A path of processed foods and overeating may seem easier.  In the long run, those who choose healthy eating patterns will be glad that they chose that path -- even if they missed an occasional dessert along the way.

It is far better to choose a little harder path that leads to good consequences – even if that path happens to be paved with bags of Sleepytime Detox tea. 

Throwing Pumpkins

 

 

“Mr. Dinosaur wants to kick these pumpkins!”  My four-year old daughter, Elise, held a stuffed T. Rex and made motions as though he was kicking the pumpkins.  Then, she proceeded to kick some medium sized pumpkins herself.

“Good job, Mr. Dinosaur!”  She said, congratulating the submissive prehistoric creature.  Certainly dinosaurs playing soccer is a bit unusual, but then again, in the Waldron house, almost anything can happen.

“Tell Mr. Dinosaur to be careful,” Elise’s dad told her.  “He might hurt his foot if he kicks the pumpkin too hard.”  Elise proceeded to ignore the wise advise of her father.

“Now, Mr. Dinosaur, let’s pick up the pumpkin!”  Elise told her stuffed friend.  So saying, she picked up the pumpkin.  “Now, throw it, Mr. Dinosaur!”

The pumpkin was big enough it didn’t fly very far, but it made a distinct thudding sound as it hit the living room floor.

“I think that’s enough,” Elise’s dad told her.  “I don’t think you or Mr. Dinosaur should be throwing pumpkins.”

“Why not?”  Elise asked.  “Mr. Dinosaur thinks this is a lot of fun.”

“Because the pumpkin will split and make a big mess.”

Elise’s lower lip quivered.  “Dad,” she said dramatically.  “You are not pleasing God!”

Unfortunately for her, Elise’s father remained unmoved.  “Sorry,” he told her.  “You may have received a divine revelation, but for some reason I haven’t gotten the same message.”

Now, Elise’s father and I are very well acquainted and I agree with him completely.  Elise was simply trying to do her very best to leverage the highest power she had knowledge of to help her get her own way.  It is understandable if a four-year old tries to do this, but there are plenty of older people, who should know better, who do the same thing.

A lot of people have not learned this lesson.  I see many people putting their own words in the mouth of the Almighty and it seems to me that this is one of the most dangerous things that we can do. 

It is not simply the idea of us prophesying about future events that do not happen – although I have seen plenty of people do that over the last several years.  When we speak any words that are contrary to revealed Scripture, we are not speaking a divine revelation.

The Apostle Paul said, “For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.”  (II Timothy 4:3,4)

The world around us doesn’t really want to hear the messages of God.  As Chesterton said, “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried.”  God does not call us to lives of ease.  He calls for us to give up all in pursuit of Him.  The abundant life is not a life of wealth, but of abundant love, joy, and peace.  On the other hand, the path to being an influencer is to avoid telling people of the trials and tribulations that wait for those who follow the path of Jesus.

I pray that we might listen to the true voice of God and not the silken voice of teachers whose main goals are to get us to like them and to send them money.  More than that, I hope we never put our own words in the mouth of God, even for a purpose as silly as trying to get your dad to let you throw pumpkins in the living room.

Shopping With Your Doctor

 

 

I was sitting at the table of our church’s bake sale stand.  Mounds of sugar-filled delicacies surrounded me. Clearly, the Mennonite ladies' ovens had been working overtime in the last week.

A lady walked up and began to study the pies.  “Is this chocolate chess pie?”  She asked, holding up a pie.

I carefully read the label on the pie.  It said, 'Chocolate Chess Pie' on it.  “Yes, I believe it is,” I said.

She looked up, surprised.  “Oh, hi, Dr. Waldron.  I didn’t know I’d see you here.”

She put the pie down in an almost guilty way.  I smiled reassuringly.  “I’m just trying to help out the best I can,” I told her.

“I suppose everything is healthy?”  She asked.

“Doctor Recommended!”  I said, laughing in response.

Through the morning, I saw people who were patients at our office in Brookneal.  All seemed surprised to see me and a little sheepish at their dietary choices.  Some even explained to me how they were buying these sweets for their “unhealthy” spouse who was too much of a slug to leave the house on a fine October morning.

About mid-morning, I wondered if it wasn’t the wisest thing to have me selling baked goods. I probably should have been at the Vitamins, carrots, and celery table (that we didn't have). 

How many people would take their doctors grocery shopping with them?  How would their grocery purchases look different if they had him studying every package of fish sticks or oreo cookies that they dropped into their cart?

As a child, I learned the verses, “They eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous and His ears are open unto their cry.  The face of the Lord is against them that do evil.”  (Psalms 34:11,12)

There is Someone who is watching all of our actions and listening to all of our words.  This is true, even in times when we feel like we are totally alone.

God is always watching us, even when don't think about it.  The challenge is to always behave in such a way that it doesn’t matter who sees us.  For those who buy groceries as though their doctor was sitting in their shopping cart watching their every purchase are probably the healthiest folks in the grocery store.