Swift to Hear

"How's your neck doing?"  I asked the older African American gentleman.  We were standing in the Food Lion parking lot.

"My neck is fine,"  he told me.  "But my left arm is still numb and tingly."

Fortunately, I suppose, this was not a patient of mine.  I knew him from where he had come in with a family member to the office and he told me about his arm.  I had wisely suggested that he seek medical attention from his doctor.

"I know," I said.  "But often that comes from a pinched nerve in your neck.  Have you seen your doctor yet?"

Ben nodded gloomily.  "I tell you," he said.  "She don't listen to much of what I say.  I no sooner start to tell her what is going on then she's got something to say and I have to stop talking."

"That's not good," I said.

"No,"  Ben said.  "I'm sure she's really smart, but how can she figure out what will help me when she don't hear the symptoms I'm having and what I've done to try to fix them?"

It was a good question.  Clearly it is hard to make informed decisions when you don't have all the facts.  There is something more.  People will never believe that you really care if you don't take the time to listen to them.

Doctors are the same as other people.  We are a lot better at talking than listening.  At the same time it is a profession that depends on us actually hearing what our patients are telling us.

The book of James says "...let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger."  Truth to tell, I have focused more on the anger part of this verse.  That's good.  People shouldn't have to worry about whether they will say the wrong thing and I will blow my top, but it is just as important that I seal my lips and listen, both to my patients and to others in my life.

Only then will I hear what others are saying.

Only then will they know that I care.