Choosing to Do Nothing

"I just don't want to do anything,"  Anthony told me.

"Are you sure?"  I asked him.  "A lot of cancers are treatable with chemotherapy, or radiation.  I'm not an expert on the subject, but maybe it would be better to talk to one -- at least to know your options."

"No," Anthony said firmly.  "My mind is made up, I don't want to do any of those things.  I know I'm going to die, but so are we all some day -- I'm just going to die a little sooner than some others."

Anthony had some kind of neck cancer -- we knew that from his CT Scan.  What cell type it was exactly and how treatable it was, we didn't know.

"How long do you think I have, Doc?"  He asked me.

These are the sorts of questions that have no good answers.  "I don't really know," I said.  "Maybe a year?"

We talked on about different things, many of them not particularly medical.  As we neared the close of the visit, I felt a need to consult a Greater Physician.

I'm just a simple family doctor.  I don't know all the answers, but I know someone who does.

"Could we pray together?"  I asked him.

"Yes, I'd like that,"  Anthony said.

As I prayed, I asked for healing -- for some divine removal of his cancer.  I suppose more than that, I prayer for strength and peace for him in the coming days.

I know that I was praying just as much for myself for those things.  For, it is hard for a doctor to stand by and not try to "do something" to treat an illness and yet the most important thing is to affirm my patient's wishes.

Prayer is a bridge that helps us cross dark waters.  It is something that unites as well, for I know when I finished, we both had tears in our eyes.

"Thank you," the other man told me.  "I've never had a doctor pray for me before."

"You're welcome."

"Dr. Waldron," he told me.  "You know, I'm not afraid to die.  It's the road that I'm going to take to get there that scares me a little bit."

"Well,"  I said.  "I'll do everything I can to maybe you comfortable, but more than that, I know God will be with you every step of the way."

That's all that any of us can ask for.