Top Ten Watermelons

 

“I think this is the best watermelon I’ve ever tasted!”  Elaine said, after she took a bite of a slice.  “This is amazing!”

“It is really good watermelon,” I commented, “but I’ve heard you say that same thing about four or five other watermelons over the last couple of years.”

“Maybe it’s that watermelons keep getting better and better,” Vincent said.  “Just like iPhones.”

“Mom is just a positive person, and it shows up when she’s eating watermelon,” Anna put in.

“She’ll say when the watermelon isn’t good too,” I said.  “There’s plenty of times that we’ve gotten watermelon that was a little too old and she’ll mention that too.”

“I probably should have just said that it’s really tasty watermelon and left it at that,” Elaine said.  “I didn’t really expect everyone to analyze my statement like they did.”

“I’m sure the watermelon feels better about sacrificing its life for us, knowing that we’ve really enjoyed it,” I said.  “I don’t think I could rank my top ten watermelon eating experiences.  I know I’ve eaten good watermelons in the past, but since I didn’t mark them down, or journal about them, I guess they just floated away like bubbles on the wind.”

I think there are some people out there that are against any form of exaggeration in speech.  They feel that it is almost akin to lying and if it isn’t an untruth, maybe it is the sort of “idle words” that the Bible seems to discourage us from using.

It is hard to really make this case since Jesus indulged in hyperbole.  When he was talking to the Pharisees, He said, “You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.” (Matthew 23:24)  I suppose it is possible that the religious leaders of Jesus’ day really did fish insects out of their drinks and periodically swallowed dromedaries, but I think it is more likely that Jesus was commenting about their willingness to accept large sins in their synagogues while casting out people with tiny offenses.

In other places He talked about camels going through the eye of a needle, cutting off body parts and putting out eyes.  In each case, He seems to have used some level of exaggeration to make a point seem extreme to those listening. 

The problem with exaggeration is simply that when we begin to rely on it to intensify a point we are making, we have to return to that well over and over.  Sportscasters have to make whatever sporting event they are talking about seem like one of the greatest events since the US Olympic Hockey Team won at Lake Placid.

It’s probably best to reserve hyperbole for special occasions.  If every watermelon you eat is in the top ten of watermelons you have tasted, the award begins to feel more like a participation trophy than a gold medal.