Carrot Mountain

 

“What did you children think of Parrot Mountain?”  I asked our two youngest children.  We had just meandered our way through a semi-tropical paradise complete with caged Toucans and Lorikeets near Sevierville.

"I LOVED it,” Elise said.  “The birds were awesome.”

"It was OK,” Victoria said.  She is always more measured in her willingness to give complements or to admit enjoyment (or distress) over some event in her life.

“I think I would like to start a place called Carrot Mountain,” I said.

“Can I come?”  Elise asked.

“Sure, once I get done getting it started,” I said.

“It doesn’t sound very exciting,” Victoria said.  “I think seeing parrots is more interesting than seeing carrots.”

“Oh, but you haven’t seen all of the carrots I will have.  I’ll even have special carrots carved to look like famous people.  I'm sure the one of Donald Trump will look just like him.  We'll probably even have carrots that look like the twelve apostles.”

“We don’t know what the disciples looked like so how would you know that the carrot looked like a one?”  Victoria asked.

“You would know by the label under the carrot,” I said. 

I still haven’t gotten around to starting Carrot Mountain.  It may be a great project, but I don’t quite have the bandwidth necessary to get this sort of project off the ground.

I do find the contrast between my daughters to be fascinating.  One is easily excited and easily distressed.  The other is a little less emotional – probably feeling things just as much, but not as quick to express her excitement and enjoyment.

Life is hard.  many of us (myself included) struggle to find joy in everyday things.  We get through the toil of today’s efforts like a Sherpa lugging a load from base camp to camp 2, striving on with the knowledge that tomorrow will only bring another slope and another burden.

“Neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10) 

It is amazing what strength comes to us as we experience joy.  Allowing ourselves the freedom to smile and realize that although there are dark clouds behind the silver linings, those clouds are under control of our Heavenly Father.

I pray that we might find that joy – a joy that provides strength in the midst of work struggles and political turmoil.  A joy that might even carry you through a trip to Carrot Mountain.

Reading at the Table

 

“Victoria,” Anna’s voice rang out over the general hub bub of our supper meal.  “You shouldn’t be reading at the table!”

Victoria looked up from the book she was reading – Beetles, Lightly Toasted – to make a face at her sister.  She slowly closed the book and put it beside her on the table.

Elliot piped up.  “Well, you read books at the table when you were Victoria’s age,” he said, with a voice full of accusation.  Clearly, Anna was putting a burden on her sister that Anna had been unwilling to bear at the same age.

“I tried,” Anna admitted, “but Mom and Dad wouldn’t let me.  They said I had to wait till after we were done eating to read a book.

I had to smile.  I suppose our family is a bit of a throwback.  In recent studies, only about 30 percent of families eat a nightly meal together.  The rate went up a bunch during COVID, but since life has returned to normal, people are back to running around and doing lots of activities and the end result is a more fractured meal time.

More than that, the idea of reading for fun has dropped considerably.  A number of surveys done recently have shown a serious decline in reading.  Kids under 11 read a bit more than other groups, but once Americans become teenagers, the amount of reading falls off a cliff, with only 14 percent of teens saying that they read for fun on a regular basis.

Lest I cast stones at kids alone, in a recent survey, a quarter of adult Americans admitted they had not read single book in the last year.  This includes print, electronic, and audio books.

I wonder why reading rates are declining.  Maybe it is just that people don’t have as much leisure time as they used to.  Maybe it is that folks fill what leisure time they do have with a mixture of movies, television, gaming, and internet usage.  I’m guessing it has more to do with what we do with our leisure time than that we don’t have any.

Much of what is served to us for entertainment is mindless.  It is easy to absorb, amusing, and requires little effort or thought.  After a draining day at work, who really wants to sit down a crack open a book to wade through its pages in search of something interesting or entertaining?

I do believe reading is still important.  It expands our minds and imagination, it adds to our vocabulary, and it even helps us to learn about ourselves and the people around us.  Roughly 80 percent of Americans believe that they should read more – they just don’t think they have time to do so.

I remember reading a blog where the author shared that he didn’t see Bible reading as a command of Scripture.  Technically, I suppose he was correct.  We are to study the Bible and meditate on its words, but for most of history, the idea of reading the Bible every day was not possible for most humans – most of them didn’t even own a copy of a Bible.

Since I am delving into statistics, only about 10 percent of surveyed Christians said they read the Bible every day. 

Once again, there are different reasons for this, but I am guessing that they are the same reasons that people aren’t reading books the same as in the past.  The Bible seems dry and boring compared to the latest Netflix offerings.  The words that shook the Roman Empire to its core two thousands years ago no longer shake Americans free from their focus on media.

I wonder if much of the angst about the world and coming election could be assuaged if the people of God would stop focusing so much on their phones and screens and instead would turn their attention to the promises of God.  Of all people, Christians should have joy, regardless of what is going on in the world around them.

Two thousand years ago, Jesus told His followers, “And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.” (Luke 21:28)

I wish more people would put down their phones and pick up their Bibles and begin to read.  That would be a blessing – even if they take them to the dinner table with them.

Six Percent

 

“Is this your phone, Anna?”  I asked my oldest child.  I suppose the lavender case should have given it away, but I am not always aware of what the pieces of technology my family members carry around for communication purposes look like.

“Yes, that’s my phone,” Anna said.

“It looks like you’ll have to recharge it soon,” I commented. 

“What?”  Anna looked at the phone.  “Oh no,” she said.  “It has 6 percent charge left.  That will keep it going for another couple of hours for certain.”

I looked askance at my eldest daughter.  Surely she had not learned such cavalier behavior from her dear father. 

Climb high mountains, shoot for the moon -- but be sure your phone is charged first...

“There’s something going around Facebook about changing your voice mail message if you are lost in the woods and your battery is low and you don’t have service,” I said.  “I don’t think that would work because if you don’t have service you can’t change your voicemail message, so I’m trying to prevent that from happening.”

Anna looked me like I needed to check into a behavioral unit.  “Dad, I’m right here,” she said.  “I don’t think I’m about to get lost in the woods.”

“That’s what you think,” I said.  “But what percent of people who got lost in the woods expected to get lost?  It's all fun and games and six percent battery life and then 'poof,' Lost in the Woods!”

With these words of wisdom, I left the conversation.  Clearly, Anna wasn’t planning to charge her phone until it got down to some reasonable number -- say one or two percent battery life and she probably wasn’t going to get lost in the woods in the next couple of hours either.

I have always thought that people tend to find themselves polarized around things like cell phone batteries and gas tanks.  There are some people who feel comfortable driving around with the gas light on in their car, while others are filling up when their vehicle gets to the half tank mark.

I tend towards the compulsive filling the tank and charging my phone camp.  I hate getting anywhere close to empty, either in my vehicle or my phone.

It is easy to plug your phone in when it is getting low on battery and relatively easy to fill your gas tank. 

Much harder than that is to deal with situations where we are emotionally or physically depleted.  What can you do to bring your emotional battery level back into the green zone?

There are lots of things that have been written on the subject, but I believe a good place to start is to know our own limitations and then have a plan for regular times to recharge.  Those times must include a break from draining activities and deliberate inclusion of things that we enjoy doing and that don’t leave us more weary than before.

More than that, spending time with Jesus is really important.  He said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

If I am honest, I am not always good at following my own prescription.  I need rest.  I need time with Jesus.  And yet…  it is all too easy to try to squeeze one more thing into my packed schedule.  When I do this, I am not the only one who suffers – the people who live with me and experience my resulting grouchiness suffer too.

So it is that Jesus offers us rest.  For He knows that a life lived at six percent battery level is not in good shape – even if we never get lost in the woods.

The New Verse

 

“Dad,” my five-year-old daughter said to me.  “It is time for you to learn your Bible verses!”

“Really?  Which Bible verses do I need to learn?”  I asked her curiously. 

“The first verse is from First Second 4:28,” Elise began.

“I think I know this one,” I said.  “Is it, ‘All we like sheep have gone astray?’”

“No, Dad,” Elise said in a tone that implied that only someone who didn’t know his Bible would say such a thing.  “It is NOT that verse.  First Second 4:28 says, ‘Love confirms from evil.’  Can you say it after me?  ‘Love confirms from evil.’”

“What does that mean?”  I asked curiously.  This was a verse I didn’t remember and I have read my Bible through many times.

“Never mind,” Elise said.  “This is God’s Word and you NEED to learn it.  There is another verse for you to learn too.”

“What’s that?”  I asked, fighting an urge to laugh.  My daughter was deadly serious, but she wasn’t exactly making sense.

“This verse is even more important Dad,” Elise told me.  “It says, “All Elises should eat lots of cookies.”

“All Elises should eat lots of cookies?”  I asked her.  “Does that include you?”

Elise nodded seriously.  “Yes, Dad, it is in the Bible, so I guess I will need to eat lots of cookies.”

“I think you missed the verse that comes after that one where it talks about, ‘If they eat their supper,’” I said.  “You can have cookies, but you haven’t eaten your supper.”

This seemed to take Elise back – the idea that her dear old Dad would be as heretical as I seemed to be both shocked and chagrined her.  “I’m going to tell Mom,” she said, as though her mother would definitely support her campaign to add sweets to her diet.

I suppose it is not terribly surprising to find someone co-opting Scripture for their own ends.  Lots of evangelists and pastors through the years have tickled the ears of their congregants with words that soothe them and tell them that all Jesus expects of them is what they are already doing.

Show up to church on Sunday, act loving to the people in the pews next to you, and put a little money in the offering plate and you are well on your way.

And yet…

The Jesus I see in Scripture did not live a comfortable life nor did He expect His followers to have one either.  “And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)

Self-Denial.

Cross Bearing.

These are not things that attract people.  People these days would rather hear about “Your best life now!” and “Chocolate Chip Cookies without Guilt!”  Frankly, I would too, but Jesus calls me over the tumult and asks me to follow Him.

He promises peace.  He gives satisfaction.  He gives life in abundance, but only after I willingly lay down my life and my desires and take up my cross – every single day – and walk in His footsteps.

I suppose it is easier to read the things we want into Scripture, but it is not wise to add things to God’s Word – even if we desperately want a cookie when we didn’t finish our supper.

"Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

 

 

Lo, one day, about one week ago for those of a precise nature, my family and I wandered into a field.  While others may pass into locations such as this to gather daisies while they may, we had put on spangled jewels and finery and hired a personage who owned a Magic Box which when used could capture images that resembled our family greatly.

With this in mind, this personage, who I shall refer to as The Photographer, attempted to line up all those of the family and persuade us to change our normal foul looks into fair smiles.  With this, she was somewhat effective, although, the Youngest Maiden in our party did resist all attempts to get her to Cooperate and lo, within ten minutes she did Entirely Burn Out on the affair.

In a desperate attempt to coax a smile from the afore mentioned Forlorn Maiden, her family did ask her favorite riddle.  “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Now mayhap, Fair Reader, that hast heard a riddling question somewhat similar, but Elise has a different answer from those that are found in books of lore.  For, when she has been asked this riddle, invariably she answereth, “To Get to Chick-Fil-A!!!”  And this answer, once given, is followed close on by gales of laughter.

So, it was on Family Photography Day, that Elise was asked many questions.  “Why did the camel Cross the Road?” and “Why did the Iguana Cross the Road?”  and more such questions than I can recount.

To all of these questions she thought, but little and then gave the Same Answer, “To get to Chick-Fil-A!”

And lo, these questions kept the once Forlorn Maiden smiling until The Photographer's Magic Box had nearly completed its work.

I pondered on my youngest child.  She knoweth One Answer and useth it muchly.  Yea, if thou wouldst believe her, then a wondrous gathering of Animals of All Species has gathered at a fast food restaurant whose slogan is “Eat More Chickin!”

If a School Child would use this approach and place within the Blank Space after each math question, the number 4, me thinks he would fail miserably.  At best, he might obtain one or two correct answers, while the rest would be inaccurate.

And yet…

There is an Answer for this world’s problems that is often overlooked, but this answer is not a What, but a Who.  For Jesus changes hearts and lives in such a way that healing can come and conflicts cease.

He told His followers, “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”  (John 15:5)

For those who follow Him, Jesus is the only Answer that they need.  He is a better answer than anything else and guaranteed to bring even more Joy than picturing a bunch of animals eating at Chick-Fil-A.

Wants and Needs

 

“Mom, you said we could eat now!”  Elliot said as I walked in the door of our home.  I didn’t even have time to say, ‘Honey, I’m home!’

“I said,” Elaine said, with a steel edge to her voice, “that we could eat after Dad got home.  I didn’t say the second he walked in the door.”

“But Mom,” Elliot said with a mournful voice.  “I’m famished.”

I would not be surprised if my younger son appears soon in advertisements for organizations that are attempting deliver food aid to the needier parts of the globe.  He may not look someone who is dying of hunger, but he is knocking on starvations door on a regular basis.

Elliot could teach the malnourished people in the Horn of Africa a thing or two about the meaning of starvation.  They think they are starving after months of little food, but he can achieve the same death-like state in the short time from his afternoon snack till supper time.

Fortunately, Elliot did survive the short time from my arrival at home and when a very delectable supper placed on the table.

Food is a human need.  We are unable to survive for any length of time without it.  At the same time, most of us don’t need to eat as often as we do eat, nor do we need the quantity of food that we store away at each meal.

It is almost as though most of us are worried that food might be scarce after the next election.

The Apostle Paul wrote to the Philippians “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)

Paul wrote this letter from prison and certainly it didn’t seem like a place to be crowing about how God had provided for his every need.  If anything he found himself in the middle of a time of suffering that might easily end in his execution.

It seems like Paul had learned better than most of us that his wants and his needs were two separate things.  So many of the things that we value are not needs and in point of fact, many humans around the world live without them.  Perhaps their lives are not as comfortable as the lives of most Americans, but they know better than we do that air conditioning, smart phones, and internet access are not required for life to continue.

Our heavenly Father is faithful and he does minister to our every need.  Sometimes when the food isn’t being set before us at the exact instant we crave it, we need to take a deep breath and realize that what we need most is not food, but a bit of good, old-fashioned patience.

Praying Like a Five Year Old

 

“How old are you?”  I asked my daughter.

“I’m four-years old,” she told me.

“But how old will you be tomorrow?”  I asked Elise.

“I’ll be five-years old!”  She said proudly.  Of course, this was true.  Five does come after four and Elise had been four for approximately 365 days.

“Tomorrow’s my birthday,” she bubbled on to me.  “On my birthday I can do WHATEVER I want.  I don’t have to eat any food I don’t want to, and I’ll be able to play with whatever I want to.”

“Within limits…” I added dryly.  “You can’t burn down the house or eat Jewel or Aria.”

Elise looked at me strangely.  “That’s disgusting, Dad,” she told me.  “I don’t want to eat a dog or cat.  I want taco salad or pizza.  And ice cream.  And cake.”

It seemed our pets were safe for the moment.  Not that it mattered.  Even if our soon to be five-year old had a desperate craving for Shish-KaDogs or Cat Tacos, we weren’t going to serve our furry friends at her party – not even as appetizers.

My five-year old is a human and as such, she has a pretty narrow idea of what will make her happy and a pretty strong desire to see that happen.  I suppose it is no wonder that when she thought about what a special birthday would look like, it was a day in which she could do whatever she wanted and no one – not even her parents – could gainsay her wishes.

Maybe adults are a little better at hiding their selfishness.  We pray in the Lord’s Prayer, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” and even as we pray it, we whisper under our breath, “but let my will be Thine.”

If we are honest, we will admit that pursuing our own desires doesn’t actually make us happy.  Like a five-year old at a birthday party, we eat too much ice cream and icing and then wonder why instead of feeling gloriously happy, instead we just have an empty feeling inside (and a tummy ache).

I wonder how often we sit down to pray and instead of breaking out a laundry list of requests, we simply say, “Father, help me to want what you want.  Help me to love the people you love – the way you love them.  Help me to give as you gave – so that in some small way, your will can be done through me.”

I am afraid that a lot of people want a God like the Genie – someone simply to fulfill their wishes when they rub the lamp in just the right way.  I want a God whose love is bigger than the Universe and whose mercy is everlasting.  More than that, my desire is to let Him work through me, so that a small corner of our world could have a touch of His love and mercy and grace flowing through it.

That is a heavenly thought to me.

Level II Hair Disaster!

 

"Vincent!"  Anna's voice crackled with concern.  "What did you do?"

Vincent's voice had a little less emotion, but didn't sound happy.  "I didn't mean to do anything.  It just happened.  It's all my fault."

"Let me fix it,"  Anna said.  It was at this point that I began to move towards the scene of whatever crime had just occurred.  Hopefully the police would let me past the yellow caution tape.

I reached the bathroom just in time to find Anna cutting Vincent's right side burn off with my wife's sewing scissors.  A ragged line of poorly trimmed hair extended back to just above his ear.

"What are you doing, Anna?"  I asked, hoping I sounded calm.  I felt an odd feeling like laughter coming on and I desperately tried to squelch it.

"It's my fault, Dad," Vincent said again.  "I was trying to cut some of my hair that was touching my ear with these scissors.  It was just too long.  I guess I cut too much off."

"I just evened things up on this side," Anna said with confidence.  With big sisters like this, who needs barbers?  I wasn't so sure about the situation.  "Now," she continued.  "I'll just try to match the other side to this one."

Anna lifted her scissors to make another trim, this time on the left side of Vincent's head.

"Anna," I said.  Please don't cut any more.  Let's get Mom to look at it.  She has a little more experience in trimming hair than you do."

Anna hesitated, lowering the scissors just a hair.  "I don't think we need to bother Mom," she said.

"Elaine," I called out.  When my wife arrived and surveyed the situation, she began to shake with scarcely controlled laughter.  Vincent, of course, didn't take kindly to all of this attention.

"Anna," Elaine said.  "Put the scissors down.  We'll trim things up with the hair clippers.  It won't be perfect, but it should look better than if you cut more off with those."

Recently, the idea of competence has bounced around in my brain.  Many of the most confident people are not terribly competent, while many people who are quite capable are soft-spoken and quick to second guess their own abilities.

The Apostle Paul wrote, "It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God." (II Corinthians 3:5)  He, of all people should have felt qualified.  He had already started numerous churches and written letters that would end up forming a good chunk of the New Testament.  His humility stands out.  He had plenty of qualifications, but at the end of the day, he knew that without God he had no ability worth anything.

My daughter had utmost confidence in her ability to fix a hair catastrophe.  Her brother, because of her confidence (and his realization that he couldn't fix it) let her make the situation quite a bit worse.

In many situations, narcissistic men and women push their way to the top, blaming their own failures on their "incompetent" subordinates, while claiming all of the victories as resulting from their own skill and vision.  

Worst of all is when this happens in church situations.  Those who lead the church must have a greater understanding than anyone of their own weaknesses and their need for God's strength and wisdom to carry on.

I value competence over confidence any day of the week, but even more than that, I treasure those who are humble enough to know the source of their strength and realize their own limitations.  They are the ones who can yield to wisdom when dealing with a Level 2 Hair Disaster in the upstairs bathroom -- even if they are certain they could fix the situation with a few well-placed scissors strokes.

A Sense of Timing

 

 

“So, how did orchestra go?”  I asked my children.  Vincent, was an old hand, having played string bass the previous year and had little to say, but for Elliot and Victoria, it was as new as a fresh picked cherry tomato.

“It was OK,” Victoria said.  She is in the younger strings-only orchestra.  “Sometimes we played too fast and sometimes we played too slow.  Lots of the other players got lost and it made it hard for me to keep my place.”

“How was it for you, Elliot?”  Elliot plays trumpet and usually has a high level of confidence in his own abilities – even the amount of practicing doesn’t always quite match that confidence.

“The notes were EASY!”  Elliot said dramatically.  “I could have played them in my sleep.  The hard part was figuring out where to come in.  I think we got lost a few times, but there was only one time when Ms. DeCarlo (the conductor) called us out. ‘Where are my trumpets?  I need my trumpets!’”

“It seems like coming in on time is important,” I said.

“I’m not the ONLY one that has trouble coming in on time,” Elliot said.  “Lots of the other sections were having trouble too…”

Timing is everything, or so they say.  I have heard this said in relation to joke telling, where the pause between the end of the joke and the punchline makes a huge difference in how it is received by its audience.  It is true for an orchestra as well.

Even a small orchestra, like the Lynchburg Youth Symphony Orchestra, has 40 or 45 members.  Within that, there are different sections, each with a slightly different part to play.  It is not enough that they play all of the right notes, if those notes are not in sync with the other parts, the end result would sound more like a bunch of pots and pans dropped down an escalator than what Beethoven really intended.

One of the themes that stands out in the Gospel of John is Jesus’ impeccable sense of timing.  Early in the book, when His mother asked Him to take care of a lack of wine at a wedding, Jesus told her that “My hour has not yet come.” (John 2:4)  He mentioned this several other times through the book.

At some point, not long before His death, a few Greek-speaking Jews came, asking to see Jesus.  To this He responded, “The hour is come, that the Son of man should be glorified.”  He went on to indicate what that this glorification would come when He died. (John 12)

I read over these words and realize that God has all of the times and seasons of my life in His hands.  On my own, I would plant corn in August and lettuce in June and wonder why my harvest was so dismal in December.

Trust is not only knowing that God knows the "what" and "where" of my life.  Trust is knowing that God knows the “when” of my life too.  He will make sure that things happen right on track – far better than the trumpet section’s entrance into Saint-Saens’ Bacchanale at the Lynchburg Youth Symphony practice last week.

Candy Land

 

"What are you doing, Elise?"  I asked my four-year old daughter.

"I'm playing a game," she said.

"There's no one else playing -- she's playing against herself," her brother, Elliot said, putting in his three and a half cents.

I looked down at the game board.  Lest anyone be confused into thinking our youngest daughter is the second coming of child chess prodigy, Bobby Fischer, I saw that Elise was playing the game Candyland.

"I'm playing Candyland," she told me.  "I've won TWO games already!  I'm pretty awesome at Candyland!"

"She cheats," Elliot said, raising his input to the conversation to five and a half cents.  "She looks for the cards she wants next and chooses them out of the stack.  No wonder she finishes so fast."

I didn't really know what to say.  Candyland is not exactly a game that requires a high level of skill to play.  Most games take a mixture of skill and luck, but as far as I can tell, there is absolutely no skill needed to play this game.  I suppose that is why the game is appropriate for humans aged three and up.

I guess it is a good thing that Elise has so much confidence in her own abilities, but on the other hand, I am not sure how she could lose when she was playing herself.

Humans have a strong tendency to overestimate their own abilities.  The scientists David Dunning and Justin Kruger described this effect (now named the Dunning-Kruger Effect) in 1999.  Most people (regardless of their actual intelligence) believe they are above average, that they have a good grasp of how to effectively research scientific information on the internet and know with a certainty that their friends and family underestimate their talents.

Of course, not everyone can be above average -- in fact fifty percent of us, by definition, are below average (if not very much below average). 

The verse came to my mind, "I have more understanding than all my teachers: For thy testimonies are my meditation." (Psalms 119:99) At first blush, the author of Psalms 119 is diving headlong into the Dunning-Kruger Effect.  He is crazy enough to believe that he knows more than all of us his teachers, which begs the question, is he so smart or are his teachers just a little short on knowledge?

There is a clue here for us to pick up on.  The point here, as throughout the rest of Psalm 119, is that God's Word gives wisdom that far surpasses human knowledge.  Those who study it and internalize it are wise and gain understanding far superior to their years.

This is true wisdom.  We live in a world where Candyland players believe they can defeat Chess Grandmasters and Facebook users know more about medicine than those who have completed Medical School.  Maybe the best thing each one of us could do is close our internet browser and open a Bible, for this is the best (and maybe the only way) to have more understanding than your teachers.

The Passage of Time

 

“Dad, will you explain the theory of relativity to me?”  The first grader asked his dad.  “I don’t understand why time goes slower at great speed.”

Calvin’s dad stroked his chin thoughtfully.  “Well, Son, it’s because you keep changing time zones.  See, if you fly to California you gain three hours on a five-hour flight, right?

Calvin nodded.  So far all of this was making sense.  “So, if you go at the speed of light, you gain more time because it doesn’t take you as long to get there.  Of course, the theory of relativity only works if you are going west.”

“Wow, that’s not what Mom said at ALL!  She must be totally off her rocker,”  Calvin was shocked.

“Well, we men are better at abstract reasoning.  You go tell her that,” Calvin’s dad said smugly.

Of course, this conversation only happened in the mind of the cartoonist Bill Watterson, creator of the Calvin and Hobbes strip that ran for ten short years between 1985 and 1995.  I remember as a boy getting the newspaper and turning first to the comics to see what funny things Calvin was doing – cloning himself, making a transmogrifier, or imaging himself as Spaceman Spiff. 

It is hard to believe that it has been thirty years since Calvin and Hobbes went away.  Not exactly a blink of an eye fast, but it certainly doesn't feel like three decades ago either.

The passage of time is something that Calvin didn’t understand and not even Calvin’s dad, with all of his brilliance could truly explain.  Einstein’s theories may tell us about what time is and what happens to it when you go close to the speed of light, but it doesn’t really tell us about how humans experience time.

It seems like a brief minute ago that our oldest daughter graduated from high school, in May of this year, and we launched out into a summer full of activities and gardening and adventure.  Now, with the speed of a Formula 1 racecar entering the finall lap, it has ended and we are back to packing lunches and alarm clocks and heading off to class.

Psalms 90:10-12 is from a psalm attributed to Moses.  It says, “The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.  Who knoweth the power of thine anger? even according to thy fear, so is thy wrath.  So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.”

Time does go by quickly, whether you are having fun or not.  The call is for each one of us to “number our days.”  We are to use our time wisely so that at the end of each minute and hour, we can feel good about what we have purchased with that time.

The challenge is not understanding how time works, but how to better use the time we are given.  For, each one of us has just twenty-four hours each day to do good, even if we are not a master of abstract reasoning, like Calvin’s dad is.

Cheaper Weight Loss!

 

“I’ve come up with a new weight loss medication!”  I said proudly.  “It has low side effects, it’s generic, and it is really cheap.”

“Really?”  The lady I was talking to didn’t seem convinced that a simple family doctor in Brookneal, Virginia could have solved such a thorny problem.

“Absolutely,” I told her.  “You’ll be shocked when I tell you what it is, but maybe I should just keep the secret to myself.”

“What is it?”  She asked.

“Tylenol,” I said.  “You know how cheap it is and few people have side effects with it.  What could be better?”

The lady made a funny face.  “That doesn’t make any sense,” she told me.  “I know lots of people who take lots of Tylenol and there aren’t any of them that are skinny.”

“They should be,” I said.  “I’m just going based on a medical law I heard recently.  It goes something like this:  “No pain, no gain.”  So, assuming that is true, if we simply eliminate pain, folks should at a minimum maintain weight, but I’m guessing with aggressive treatment, they will start to lose weight.”

Of course, this is pure silliness.  Tylenol doesn’t help people lose weight, nor would any other pain medication.  I’m not even sure how true the statement “No pain, no gain,” is.

I think most people use this in terms of things like exercise or rehab after an injury, indicating that you have to be willing to suffer some in order to gain endurance and function back.  In that sense, it is true that we need to push ourselves farther than we would normally want to.

James 1:2-4 says, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

I don’t think it is human to enjoy trials of any kind nor do I think that God sends suffering on people.  I do believe that God is able to use all of the circumstances in our lives to build our characters, strengthen our faith, and even to give us patience.  As much as we hate the pain, we can have joy knowing that God is able to bring something good from trials.

I’m like anyone else and don’t pursue suffering.  It is still a blessing for me when I can understand that my Heavenly Father has the right solution for every situation.  His solutions are never as silly as trying to produce weight loss with Tylenol.

Eclipse or Bust!

“So, then I went outside,” I said, my voice raising slightly.  “Do you know what I found?”

“No,” the other man said to me.  “What?”

“It was dark!  Really dark,” I said with finality – one would almost say with totality.

“Did this happen during the last eclipse?”  The other man was trying to figure out what the point of this story was.

“No, this was last night about 10 pm,” I said.  “I was just practicing up my darkness skills for the eclipse.”

The other man just rolled his eyes.  Clearly, I wasn’t taking this whole eclipse thing seriously enough.

Maybe it is just that I must work on Monday, but I don’t see viewing an eclipse in totality as a huge deal.  Every night, the sun goes on the other side of the earth, and it gets dark – really dark.  It is almost as though the people in Australia are creating an eclipse for those of us who live in Virginia.

Even more than that, if you like the dark, putting a paper bag over you head works really well and is much less costly than spending the money for gas to drive to somewhere in Ohio or Indiana where you can see the moon cross in front of the sun for 15 minutes.

I suppose the big thing that makes an eclipse stand out as something wonderful is its infrequent nature.  The last big solar eclipse in the eastern United States was in 2017.

Of course, just because something is unusual doesn’t make it worth seeing.  I do not remember my younger son eating tomatoes without complaining.  We still have not had television crews show up at our house on the off chance that our next supper meal will have this once in a lifetime occurrence.

I suppose that many of the people pursuing totality of eclipse will find what they seek – a deep twilight for fifteen minutes, the temperature will get a little cooler over that time, and then they will fight dense traffic for several hours.  I’m sure it will be memorable and special.

I am still afraid that we pursue the unusual and miss the beauty that is around us every day.  Ecclesiastes says, “He hath made everything beautiful in His time…” 

For all my grumbling about the eclipse, I might go to see it if I had a chance, but I would not give up my vision to see the beauty around me.  I sincerely believe that that beauty is easier to see on days when the moon doesn’t block the sun’s light.