Favorite Christmas Songs

 

"What's your favorite Christmas song?"  I asked my children.  This was part of my 'Dad Polls Initiative' to understand my children's tastes.

"I don't know," Vincent said shortly.  He may have a favorite Christmas song, but he certainly wasn't going to reveal it to a Dad Pollster.

"Mine is 'Good King Wenceslas,'" Elliot said.

"That's not a Christmas song," Vincent said.  "It's a Feast of Stephen song."

"I guess it can be your favorite Feast of Stephen song," I said.

"Mine is 'What Child is This,'" Victoria put in.

"That's my second favorite one,"  Elliot said.  "If Good King Wenceslas doesn't count then I guess it is my favorite Christmas song."

"What's your favorite song, Elise?"  I asked our two year old.

"Favorite song!"  Elise said.  She is good at repeating things, even when she doesn't understand the question.

"What about you, Anna?"

"I don't know," she said.  "Something fast, I guess -- like 'Carol of the Bells.'  Definitely not 'Silent Night.'  I'm so tired of that song."

It is Christmas time which means, among other things, Christmas music.  Everyone has a list of favorites and an even longer list of songs which annoy them.  The problem is that by the time you reach the end of the five-ish weeks between Thanksgiving and the Feast of Stephen (December 26th) most of us are pretty burned out on Christmas music.

I suppose I could share a top ten list of Christmas songs that irritate me, but I'd rather not.  Instead I'll share the lyrics to my favorite Christmas song, In the Bleak Midwinter, by Christina Rossetti.

In the bleak mid-winter
Frosty wind made moan;
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow,
In the bleak mid-winter
Long ago.

Our God, heaven cannot hold Him
Nor earth sustain,
Heaven and earth shall flee away
When He comes to reign:
In the bleak mid-winter
A stable-place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty —
Jesus Christ.

Enough for Him, whom Cherubim
Worship night and day,
A breastful of milk
And a mangerful of hay;
Enough for Him, whom Angels
Fall down before,
The ox and ass and camel
Which adore.

Angels and Archangels
May have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim
Thronged the air;
But only His Mother
In her maiden bliss
Worshipped the Beloved
With a kiss.

What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a Shepherd
I would bring a lamb;
If I were a Wise Man
I would do my part,
Yet what I can I give Him,
Give my heart.

It's a pretty inaccurate song.  There certainly wasn't a thick blanket of snow covering everything around Bethlehem, nor was the water frozen.  In fact, it couldn't have been too cold or the shepherds wouldn't have been in the field that night at all, but rather home in the sheep fold.

There are two things, in spite of the inaccuracies, that come through to me.  First, is the enormity of Christ's gift to us.  He is the ruler of the Universe and yet He humbly stooped to earth to be born into a poor family.  

It speaks of the mind of Christ that Paul spoke of in Philippians chapter 2, "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus..."  Jesus chose to become a servant, though He was greater than the greatest lords of the nations.

Second is that this wonderful gift should inspire something in us -- something in me.  We need to give something back to the Savior who did so much for us.  

It is easy to imagine that others have so many more gifts that are worthwhile.  We don't have the talents or the finances that many others have.  If I were only a millionaire I would give a million, if I were a billionaire I would give a billion or two.

But Jesus did not come for us to give Him gold, frankincense, or myrrh.  All that He desires is a gift that everyone of us can afford and a gift that costs all that we are -- our hearts.

Never Too Much

 

“How was your Thanksgiving?”  The dental hygienist asked me as she lined up the instruments of torture on a tray.

“It was pretty good,” I said.  “We had plenty of food and good company.”  I always want a hygienist to be in the best mood possible when she is working on my teeth.

“Almost all of our leftovers are gone,” she said, as I opened my mouth.  I grunted what I hoped sounded like an interested noise.  I have found conversations in dentist’s offices to be surprisingly one sided.

“You know what leftovers we never have enough of?”  She asked me and once again I made my attempt at a grunt.  This time I hoped it sounded like “I dunno.” 

She paused then said dramatically “Gravy!  Gravy is what we never have enough of.  I’ve discovered you can never have too much gravy!”

I couldn’t imagine this state of affairs.  There are many things in this world that I appreciate more than gravy.  Gravy is just something you put on other food, like meat or mashed potatoes, to enhance its flavor.  It’s like saying, “My favorite food is ketchup!”  (or ranch dressing or horse radish sauce).

I know that there are foods that our family can hardly have enough of.  At the end of the summer there is never any extra okra left over.  We never seem to have extra Mint Oreo Ice Cream (or any other flavor of ice cream for that matter).  I don’t think I’ve ever had apple pie too frequently either -- I'm sure it could happen, it just hasn't so far in my relatively short lifetime.

I wonder about what things we can never have sufficient of in our lives.  I’m afraid that too often our focus is on things that are relatively unimportant. 

Some statements that simply aren’t true:

“You can never have too many kitchen gadgets."

“You can never have too many followers on Instagram.”

“You can never win too many arguments on Facebook.”

Most of the things this world values are transitory and of little value and yet, they feel – they feel -- terribly important.  Influencers take the stage for their 12 and 1/2 minutes of fame and a short million likes later they get dumped by the way side.  

The things that really endure and make a difference can’t be seen with our eyes or held in our hands.

Over the last year, people have tried to store up a variety of things that were in short supply at the beginning of COVID -- these included toilet paper and hand sanitizer.  Now, I can definitely see the importance of toilet paper and appreciate its presence in our home, but there are things even more important than that.

If there is one thing that is in seriously short supply and everyone should stock pile, it is kindness.  Simply put, kindness is thinking about others and their feelings and needs and then making the conscious decision to say the right thing or act in the best way to meet those needs.

Our world is full to the brim with technology.  We can order anything online with the click of a button and yet, the most important things are both free and priceless.

Making the effort to be kind our dealings with others makes the world a better place.  Kindness is taking time to listen.  Kindness is sitting down and writing a note of thanks.  Kindness is smiling at at the frustrated woman with acting up kids in the grocery store and letting her go in front of you in line.  Kindness is choosing not to comment on a Facebook post that riles you inside.

You can have too much Mint Oreo Ice Cream.

You can even have too much gravy.

You can never have too much kindness.

Ministering to the Depressed

 

"Dad!"  Victoria said.  "I do not want you to pour syrup on my pancake!"

"Why not?"  I asked.

"Because I want Mom to," she said.

"Mom is getting ready for church," I said.  "It will be a little while before she'll be downstairs to pour your syrup."

Anna arrived on the scene.  "I will let Anna spread peanut butter on my pancake and pour syrup on it,"  Victoria said, like a queen giving a land grant to some faithful noble.

"OK," Anna said.  

As Anna began to spread the peanut butter, Victoria began to critique her effort.  "You missed some spots!"  Victoria said, referring to the peanut butter.  Then, Anna poured the syrup.  "Anna, none of the syrup stuck to the pancake,"  Victoria wailed.  "It is just in a puddle around it."

So the distressing breakfast meal continued.  Few of our children are "morning people."  They do tend to gain a little more positive outlook later in the day.

Even for short bursts, it is discouraging to deal with this sort of attitude.  My mind works in strange ways and I began to ask myself what the appropriate way is to respond or encourage someone who is dealing with Depression.

Fortunately, I was teaching a Sunday School lesson from the second half of the Book of Ruth.

Naomi is one of the main characters in Ruth.  She was a woman from Bethlehem who journeyed with her husband and two sons to Moab because of a famine that was ravaging Israel.  There in Moab she buried her husband and sons.  After about ten years, she returned to Israel with her son's widow, Ruth.

Even though Naomi never came to my office for an evaluation to see if she met the DSM V (the psychiatric manual for mental illness) criteria for Major Depression, I feel pretty confident she would have met these criteria.

On her arrival back in her hometown, Naomi told the women there, "Do not call me Naomi [Pleasant]; call me Mara [Bitter], for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.  I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty."

This was a time before counselors, antidepressants, and psychiatrists.  I think it is instructive to read how Ruth responded to her depressed mother-in-law.  Maybe we can learn how better to love friends and family who are dealing with mental anguish.

Ruth Accepted Naomi's Suffering as Real

There is a real tendency to think you can change someone's mental outlook simply by talking to them and sharing truth about their situation with them.  Ruth could have said, "You know, Naomi, things aren't so bad.  God has given you a lot of blessings.  In fact, some of our neighbors are a lot worse off than we are."

This doesn't work.  When people are struggling with Depression, they "know" that there are people who are worse off than they are.  In their heads, they know that God is good, but their heart is so full of tears that they can't move off of that feeling.

I suppose I could keep in my office flip books of images from Concentration Camps or photos of malnourished children from the horn of Africa for people to look at to treat their depression, but that wouldn't move their emotional meter.

When we respond in anger or condescension to people who are dealing with mental anguish, we only succeed in driving a wedge between us and them.  We will not provide the healing that they desperately need.

Ruth Chose to be What Naomi Lacked

Ruth never told her mother-in-law, "I will take the place of the husband and sons you lost."  Ruth was wise enough to know that nothing could take the place of Elimelech or her deceased husband, but Naomi didn't really need a replacement for these dead men.  She needed something else.

On the way back from Moab, Naomi told Ruth and her other daughter-in-law, Orpah, to return to their families' homes.  Naomi had a number of reasons that she listed why they should leave her, but it all added up to her telling Ruth and Orpah that Naomi didn't think she was worth staying with.  Naomi had no future or value, why would they tie their lives to her?

When someone with depression tells you to go, they are actually giving you a plea to stay.  "Tell me that I am worth staying with," is the unsaid message.  Ruth understood this and responded with her famous statement, "Intreat me not to leave thee or to return from following after thee..."

Depressed people fear loss and abandonment.  They need to clearly hear from their friends and family not only that they will not be left alone.  They need to hear that they are worth staying with.

Ruth Worked at the Relationship

Maybe Naomi worked at maintaining her relationship with Ruth, but it sure looks like Ruth was doing most of the heavy lifting.  This is not surprising.

People who are dealing with depression do not initiate things.  They hardly have energy to do the bare minimum of activities that are required of them each day.  They will not pick up the phone and call friends and they definitely don't schedule lunch dates.

This doesn't mean that they don't want contact.  It simply means that their friends will need to be the ones to initiate it.

That's what Ruth did and what we should do as well.

Ruth Continued to Include Naomi in her Life

Ruth didn't know anyone in Bethlehem, when she arrived, except for Naomi.  It wasn't surprising that she spent most of her time with Naomi.  Over time she met lots of other people, particularly the man she ended up marrying, Boaz.

Despite her new acquaintances, Ruth continued to include Naomi in her life.  Depressed friends can be a bit draining to spend time with and so it is easy to neglect including them in our lives.  That is the opposite of what they need from us.

By the end of the book, Naomi seems to have found joy again.  This recovery happened because of a faithful friend and a God who used all of the events in Naomi's life for good.

There are other things I could mention that aren't found in Ruth.  People need to be encouraged to seek treatment.  Short term (or even long term) medication is far better than a lifetime of mental anguish.

We must not jump to the conclusion that there are sin issues in someone's life.  I am not sure why people are so quick to identify mental health issues as being divine punishment.  Wouldn't uncontrolled diabetes or severe COVID be just as likely to be the result of moral failures?

Perhaps the most important thing to learn from the story of Naomi is that God was always working in her life.  When healing came, it was not the result of miraculous events, but rather through God's use of human instruments.

In the same way, God will use us, as His instruments, to bring healing into the lives of suffering people, if we just let Him.