The Parable of the Capitals

  

One fine Saturday noontide, the Waldrons sat down to eat a fine Luncheon of Leftovers.  As is their wont, the younger Waldrons fell to discussing the vast Hours of Knowledge which they have accumulated from their Adventures in Edu-ma-cation.

For some reason, we fell to discussing State Capitals.  This subject seemeth to the learned mind to be the pinnacle of knowledge.  Also, it changeth not since I was in school, whereas on information like New Math, I am likely to be well Out of Date.

With this in mind, I began to quiz my progeny on the capitals of a variety of states.  While some seem to live perpetually in a State of Confusion, I chose not to bring this up or mention it.

At last I came to a Doozy.

“What is the Capital of Missouri?”  I queried.

“Even I know that one!”  Anna chortled.

I was surprised.  To this point, she had gone one for five on identifying capital cities.  “What is it?”  I asked her.

“St. Louis!”  She quoth triumphantly.

“Ha, ha!”  Elliot said.  “It isn’t anything of the sort.  If thou wouldest be wise, then thous must have more knowledge than that.”

“What is it then, Elliot?”

“Des Moines?”  Elliot said, pronouncing both of the eses in the name.

“That’s the capital of Iowa,” Vincent said.

Suddenly, I found my children’s eyes focused on me.  “Well, Dad,”  Elliot sayeth.  “Dost thou know what is the Capital of Missouri?”

I realized in this moment, with a sinking feeling that I couldn’t remember it either.  Not Joplin.  Not Columbia.  “Springfield?”  I hazarded in a voice that was far from certain.

“That’s the capital of Illinois,” Vincent said helpfully.

My beautiful wife snorted.  “Hardly,” she said.  “It’s Jefferson City.”

And with that, the great State Capital quiz of 2022 came to an end.

This amusing occurrence speaketh to me of Pride.  There are few persons more dangerous – both to themselves and to other people – then those who know all.

Of course, the issue is that few of us know nearly as much as we think we do.  We float along through life, blithely amused at the mistakes of others, even as we are unsteadily teetering on the Precipice of Ignorance.

The words of the Apostle Paul ring across the centuries.  “Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.”

For those who stand highest in their own estimation fall the hardest – even if it is only in a quiz of state capitals.