The concert master strode on to
the stage. The applause of the audience
rose up, and he turned towards the audience and bowed briefly. Then, turning back towards the orchestra, he
pointed to the oboes where the principal oboist began playing an “A.”
Each section listened carefully
and then began to tune. Brass, woodwinds,
and strings all heard the same note and made certain that their instruments
were tuned exactly right. This done, quiet
descended on the stage and the concert master seated himself, waiting for the
arrival of the conductor.
Tuning is really
important. The problem is that if an
instrument is tuned a little higher (sharper) or lower (flatter) than the rest
of the instruments around it, the end result will be discordant. Beautiful sections of music with multiple
sections of the orchestra playing in unison would sound off, without the clear, unified tone that is expected by the audience.
In relationships, tuning is
important too. So often, a husband and
wife are tuned completely differently and as a result, the music that comes out
of their marriage is discordant and full of tension.
The couple can sense this, and they
know it isn’t right. The problem is that
typically their solution is to believe that their spouse should simply tune
their life to match up with their tone. “If
only you would focus yourself on me more and be more like me,” they say. “Our lives would be great.”
So, who is the oboe in the
relationship? Who sets this master tone
that everyone else needs to match themselves too?
The secret of the orchestra is
that the oboes don’t set the master tone.
These days, oboes use an electronic device that lets them be certain
that they have their “A” tone set exactly correctly. It is only after they have tuned themselves
to the master that others can then tune themselves to them.
The Apostle Paul said, “Be ye
followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.” (I Corinthians 11:1) Paul was a godly man – someone who had lived
his life focused on his Master and yet, even he, wanted to be certain that
those who came behind him focused not so much on him and his life, but on the
one he was following.
In much the same way, relationships
work best when each one of us tunes ourselves to the Master. It is not that my wife needs to tune herself
to me, but rather that both of us focus ourselves on Jesus, listen to his clear
tone and follow that.
The goal is that the music that
comes forth from our lives and from our family, be music that flows with beautiful melody and
harmony. That can only happen when we center
ourselves around the true master tone.
