"Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

 

 

Lo, one day, about one week ago for those of a precise nature, my family and I wandered into a field.  While others may pass into locations such as this to gather daisies while they may, we had put on spangled jewels and finery and hired a personage who owned a Magic Box which when used could capture images that resembled our family greatly.

With this in mind, this personage, who I shall refer to as The Photographer, attempted to line up all those of the family and persuade us to change our normal foul looks into fair smiles.  With this, she was somewhat effective, although, the Youngest Maiden in our party did resist all attempts to get her to Cooperate and lo, within ten minutes she did Entirely Burn Out on the affair.

In a desperate attempt to coax a smile from the afore mentioned Forlorn Maiden, her family did ask her favorite riddle.  “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Now mayhap, Fair Reader, that hast heard a riddling question somewhat similar, but Elise has a different answer from those that are found in books of lore.  For, when she has been asked this riddle, invariably she answereth, “To Get to Chick-Fil-A!!!”  And this answer, once given, is followed close on by gales of laughter.

So, it was on Family Photography Day, that Elise was asked many questions.  “Why did the camel Cross the Road?” and “Why did the Iguana Cross the Road?”  and more such questions than I can recount.

To all of these questions she thought, but little and then gave the Same Answer, “To get to Chick-Fil-A!”

And lo, these questions kept the once Forlorn Maiden smiling until The Photographer's Magic Box had nearly completed its work.

I pondered on my youngest child.  She knoweth One Answer and useth it muchly.  Yea, if thou wouldst believe her, then a wondrous gathering of Animals of All Species has gathered at a fast food restaurant whose slogan is “Eat More Chickin!”

If a School Child would use this approach and place within the Blank Space after each math question, the number 4, me thinks he would fail miserably.  At best, he might obtain one or two correct answers, while the rest would be inaccurate.

And yet…

There is an Answer for this world’s problems that is often overlooked, but this answer is not a What, but a Who.  For Jesus changes hearts and lives in such a way that healing can come and conflicts cease.

He told His followers, “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”  (John 15:5)

For those who follow Him, Jesus is the only Answer that they need.  He is a better answer than anything else and guaranteed to bring even more Joy than picturing a bunch of animals eating at Chick-Fil-A.

Wants and Needs

 

“Mom, you said we could eat now!”  Elliot said as I walked in the door of our home.  I didn’t even have time to say, ‘Honey, I’m home!’

“I said,” Elaine said, with a steel edge to her voice, “that we could eat after Dad got home.  I didn’t say the second he walked in the door.”

“But Mom,” Elliot said with a mournful voice.  “I’m famished.”

I would not be surprised if my younger son appears soon in advertisements for organizations that are attempting deliver food aid to the needier parts of the globe.  He may not look someone who is dying of hunger, but he is knocking on starvations door on a regular basis.

Elliot could teach the malnourished people in the Horn of Africa a thing or two about the meaning of starvation.  They think they are starving after months of little food, but he can achieve the same death-like state in the short time from his afternoon snack till supper time.

Fortunately, Elliot did survive the short time from my arrival at home and when a very delectable supper placed on the table.

Food is a human need.  We are unable to survive for any length of time without it.  At the same time, most of us don’t need to eat as often as we do eat, nor do we need the quantity of food that we store away at each meal.

It is almost as though most of us are worried that food might be scarce after the next election.

The Apostle Paul wrote to the Philippians “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)

Paul wrote this letter from prison and certainly it didn’t seem like a place to be crowing about how God had provided for his every need.  If anything he found himself in the middle of a time of suffering that might easily end in his execution.

It seems like Paul had learned better than most of us that his wants and his needs were two separate things.  So many of the things that we value are not needs and in point of fact, many humans around the world live without them.  Perhaps their lives are not as comfortable as the lives of most Americans, but they know better than we do that air conditioning, smart phones, and internet access are not required for life to continue.

Our heavenly Father is faithful and he does minister to our every need.  Sometimes when the food isn’t being set before us at the exact instant we crave it, we need to take a deep breath and realize that what we need most is not food, but a bit of good, old-fashioned patience.

Praying Like a Five Year Old

 

“How old are you?”  I asked my daughter.

“I’m four-years old,” she told me.

“But how old will you be tomorrow?”  I asked Elise.

“I’ll be five-years old!”  She said proudly.  Of course, this was true.  Five does come after four and Elise had been four for approximately 365 days.

“Tomorrow’s my birthday,” she bubbled on to me.  “On my birthday I can do WHATEVER I want.  I don’t have to eat any food I don’t want to, and I’ll be able to play with whatever I want to.”

“Within limits…” I added dryly.  “You can’t burn down the house or eat Jewel or Aria.”

Elise looked at me strangely.  “That’s disgusting, Dad,” she told me.  “I don’t want to eat a dog or cat.  I want taco salad or pizza.  And ice cream.  And cake.”

It seemed our pets were safe for the moment.  Not that it mattered.  Even if our soon to be five-year old had a desperate craving for Shish-KaDogs or Cat Tacos, we weren’t going to serve our furry friends at her party – not even as appetizers.

My five-year old is a human and as such, she has a pretty narrow idea of what will make her happy and a pretty strong desire to see that happen.  I suppose it is no wonder that when she thought about what a special birthday would look like, it was a day in which she could do whatever she wanted and no one – not even her parents – could gainsay her wishes.

Maybe adults are a little better at hiding their selfishness.  We pray in the Lord’s Prayer, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” and even as we pray it, we whisper under our breath, “but let my will be Thine.”

If we are honest, we will admit that pursuing our own desires doesn’t actually make us happy.  Like a five-year old at a birthday party, we eat too much ice cream and icing and then wonder why instead of feeling gloriously happy, instead we just have an empty feeling inside (and a tummy ache).

I wonder how often we sit down to pray and instead of breaking out a laundry list of requests, we simply say, “Father, help me to want what you want.  Help me to love the people you love – the way you love them.  Help me to give as you gave – so that in some small way, your will can be done through me.”

I am afraid that a lot of people want a God like the Genie – someone simply to fulfill their wishes when they rub the lamp in just the right way.  I want a God whose love is bigger than the Universe and whose mercy is everlasting.  More than that, my desire is to let Him work through me, so that a small corner of our world could have a touch of His love and mercy and grace flowing through it.

That is a heavenly thought to me.

Level II Hair Disaster!

 

"Vincent!"  Anna's voice crackled with concern.  "What did you do?"

Vincent's voice had a little less emotion, but didn't sound happy.  "I didn't mean to do anything.  It just happened.  It's all my fault."

"Let me fix it,"  Anna said.  It was at this point that I began to move towards the scene of whatever crime had just occurred.  Hopefully the police would let me past the yellow caution tape.

I reached the bathroom just in time to find Anna cutting Vincent's right side burn off with my wife's sewing scissors.  A ragged line of poorly trimmed hair extended back to just above his ear.

"What are you doing, Anna?"  I asked, hoping I sounded calm.  I felt an odd feeling like laughter coming on and I desperately tried to squelch it.

"It's my fault, Dad," Vincent said again.  "I was trying to cut some of my hair that was touching my ear with these scissors.  It was just too long.  I guess I cut too much off."

"I just evened things up on this side," Anna said with confidence.  With big sisters like this, who needs barbers?  I wasn't so sure about the situation.  "Now," she continued.  "I'll just try to match the other side to this one."

Anna lifted her scissors to make another trim, this time on the left side of Vincent's head.

"Anna," I said.  Please don't cut any more.  Let's get Mom to look at it.  She has a little more experience in trimming hair than you do."

Anna hesitated, lowering the scissors just a hair.  "I don't think we need to bother Mom," she said.

"Elaine," I called out.  When my wife arrived and surveyed the situation, she began to shake with scarcely controlled laughter.  Vincent, of course, didn't take kindly to all of this attention.

"Anna," Elaine said.  "Put the scissors down.  We'll trim things up with the hair clippers.  It won't be perfect, but it should look better than if you cut more off with those."

Recently, the idea of competence has bounced around in my brain.  Many of the most confident people are not terribly competent, while many people who are quite capable are soft-spoken and quick to second guess their own abilities.

The Apostle Paul wrote, "It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God." (II Corinthians 3:5)  He, of all people should have felt qualified.  He had already started numerous churches and written letters that would end up forming a good chunk of the New Testament.  His humility stands out.  He had plenty of qualifications, but at the end of the day, he knew that without God he had no ability worth anything.

My daughter had utmost confidence in her ability to fix a hair catastrophe.  Her brother, because of her confidence (and his realization that he couldn't fix it) let her make the situation quite a bit worse.

In many situations, narcissistic men and women push their way to the top, blaming their own failures on their "incompetent" subordinates, while claiming all of the victories as resulting from their own skill and vision.  

Worst of all is when this happens in church situations.  Those who lead the church must have a greater understanding than anyone of their own weaknesses and their need for God's strength and wisdom to carry on.

I value competence over confidence any day of the week, but even more than that, I treasure those who are humble enough to know the source of their strength and realize their own limitations.  They are the ones who can yield to wisdom when dealing with a Level 2 Hair Disaster in the upstairs bathroom -- even if they are certain they could fix the situation with a few well-placed scissors strokes.