The Parable of the Discouraged Student

 

Lo, one day, I went to pick up my descendants from Bethel Mennonite School, where they are edu-ma-cated in the three Rs and a bit more besides.  My second son, Elliot, who wanteth a filter between his mind and mouth sayeth unto me, “Father, it passeth through my mind that my life would be far easier if instead of being a student, I was a teacher.”

Such words took me aback, for Elliot, has not yet completed the seventh grade and while he is Almighty Bright, still, he has many more days left before him as a student.  To Top it Off, this eleven-year-old young man has never shown a proclivity for instructing Anyone in Anything.

“Elliot,” I replied.  “Thou hast years of being a student in front of Thee.  Moreover, Thou hast need of much schooling before Thou couldest instruct another.  Mayhap it seemeth to Thee that a Teacher’s Job is easier, but it is not, for remember, Thou wouldest have to deal with students like unto Thyself and that is No Easy Job.”

Elliot made a face as though he had drunk a swig of curdled milk.  “I wouldn’t teach seventh grade,” He said.  “Not that I couldn’t for most of the work is Plum Easy.  But instructing those in the First or Second grade would be about my speed.”

“I know that Thou canst Read Real Good,” I told my son.  “And First Grade math wouldst be easy as well.  What Thou lackest is Patience.  And teachers of six- and seven-year-olds must have as much Patience as Knowledge.

Elliot was not abashed.  “I have much Patience,” he proclaimed.  “The storehouse of my Patience is like unto the treasuries of King Croesus.”

“If Thou hast such Patience,” I said.  “Thou hast not exemplified it in Thy dealings with Thy younger two sisters.  For with them, Thy store of Patience seems more like unto the treasuries of a Church Mouse.”

“Oh, my Father,” he saith in reply.  “Perhaps my Patience is not as great as I deem it, but I would learn it quickly, as I learn all things.  Thou needst not fear that my long-suffering nature would not grow greatly in such a position.”

I thought me on this subject.  Verily, most of us do grow, when are forced to do so.  On the other hand, a degree of preparation may help the growth to proceed at a more rapid pace.  Those with little Patience will not magically manifest it, simply because they have children.

Certainly, my beloved son will not be instructing children of any age in the near future.

Jesus told His followers, “He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much, and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust in much.”  (Luke 16:10) The patterns that are exhibited in the small things carry over when we are faced with greater ones.

He who is unable to have Patience with his younger sisters, though they be Awful Cute, is certainly not going to be Long Suffering when pressed to the max by a room full of six-year-olds.  It is still tempting to believe that the “Tomorrow Me” will be far less deficient in the qualities that the “Today Me” lacks.  This will only happen if the "Today Me" starts working to develop those qualities.

The only solution is to apply ourselves to become the thing we desire.  It taketh great effort and much work, but even an almost 12-year-old can learn Patience if he begins to work on it.  In time, he might even gain the Great Patience needed to deal with aggravating younger sisters.

Never Ending Colds

 

"Mom, we need more Kleenexes!"  Victoria was distressed by the lack of soft pieces of paper on which she could blow her sensitive nose.

"Back in the old days," I put in, helpfully.  "People used to carry pieces of cloth with them that they blew their noses on.  The called these items handkerchiefs and they were very environmentally friendly, if extremely disgusting."

Victoria chose to ignore my comment.  "We are out of Kleenexes!"  She stated again.

"Back when I was boy," I said.  "My mother never bought Kleenexes (or even generic brand facial tissues).  We either had to use paper towels or toilet paper.  The way you all go through Kleenexes, there are forests in Canada that tremble every time the Waldrons get a cold."

Elaine came to my daughter's rescue.  She is a very sympathetic woman.  "I'll put it on my list, Victoria," she said.  "I'm going to the store tomorrow and I'll make sure I get some."

This has been a bad winter for runny noses and coughs in our household.  None of it has been COVID (we've checked multiple times), but someone in our family has had a cough or nasal congestion since Thanksgiving.

I suppose the problem is that we have five children, and they never catch something all at once.  Like the Ghosts of Christmas that afflicted Ebenezer Scrooge, they get sick at various times and manners and so each virus takes four or five weeks to meander its way through our family.

Like Scrooge, I could say, "Couldn't I take 'em all at once and be done with them?"  It does seem like it would be nice to have one week at the beginning of school where everyone was sick all at once and then the rest of the school year would be easy breezy.  It doesn't happen that way though.

The problem is that bad things -- behaviors and infections -- are so much more contagious than good things.  "Don't make friends with an angry man, and don't be a companion of a hot-tempered man, or you will learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare." (Proverbs 22;24,25)

There are many things that we can catch from those around us.  Poor ways of dealing with other people, anger, and even carelessness are all quite contagious.  There are many days that a spirit of grumpiness and irritability descends on our house and afflicts its inhabitants.

You don't "catch" health from someone else.  If you have a cold and hang around someone else who doesn't have that cold, what will happen is not that you catch their healthiness, but rather, they will catch your cold.

I suppose that attitudes are a bit different from viruses -- there are times that someone who is intensely positive can raise the temperature of a group considerably, but more often than not, it is the pessimist who succeeds in dragging everyone down to their level, rather than the alternative.  Contagion seems directly related to both the intensity and the negativity of the spirit involved.

When we realize that such a spirit is afflicting the people around us, we need to make an effort to combat it.  As hard as it is to be an encourager when surrounded by grumps, this is the only solution.

For those who are willing to throw themselves into lifting up the spirits of those around them will have good results -- better, in fact, than 20 boxes of Kleenexes would have on a household of Waldrons afflicted with runny noses.

Investing for the Future

 

"I've come up with an awesome way to make a bunch of money, Dad?"  Elliot said to me.

"Really?"  I asked.  "Does this mean that your mother and I won't need to support you any more?"

"Well..."  Elliot hesitated.  "It may take a while to make that much money.  This is more so that I have money to spend on fun things that I want."

"So, what is your plan?"  I asked my financial genius of a son.

"It's really simple, Dad," he told me.  "See, you just buy Lego sets and don't open them.  Then, a year or two after they discontinue the set, you can sell them for a lot more than you paid for them."

"Really?"  I had a number of concerns about this plan, but I didn't want to shoot it down too quickly.

"Sure," Elliot said.  "You know that Lego City train set you bought ten years ago?"  

"Yes," I said.

"How much did you pay for it?"

"I don't remember," I said.  "Probably a little over 100 dollars."

"Well, it is selling for over 600 dollars now!"  Elliot said triumphantly.  "You see what I mean?"

I did see, although I wasn't certain how effective a money making scheme this would be.  It certainly was a get rich quick scheme -- more like gain small amounts of money slowly.

There is something more.  Legos were created to be opened, played with, and built with.  The idea of holding them unopened in a closet for some hoped for day when they will be worth lots of money feels wrong.

In the same way, the purpose of humans is something more than making money.  Certainly there are sad people who have made that their ultimate goal, but there is more to life than playing the game, "Who Wants to be a Thousandaire?"

I Timothy 6:17-19 says "Tell those who are rich in this present world not to be contemptuous of others, and not to rest the weight of their confidence on the transitory power of wealth, but on the living God, who generously give us everything for our enjoyment.  Tell them to do good, to be rich in kindly actions, to be ready to give to others and to sympathize with those in distress.  Their security should be invested in the life to come so that they may be sure of holding a share in the life which is permanent."

There are so many ideas in these few verses.  Most of all, it speaks of investments and what is truly important.

When we learn to glorify God and serve others, we are taking a path that leads to satisfaction.  All too many waste their efforts chasing things that won't satisfy and completely missing what is their real purpose -- much like an unopened Lego box waiting in a closet to be sold for Great Profit.

In Defense of Dad Jokes

 

“Did you hear about the invisible man and woman who got married?”  My children shook their heads, expecting the worse.  “Well, their children weren’t much to look at either.”

Victoria said, “That’s not even funny, Dad.”

I decided to continue.  “Do you know why there aren’t any billionaires at the North Pole?”

Elliot said, “Because the taxes are too high.”

This was a good answer, maybe funnier than the answer I had thought of.  Billionaires do seem to have a moral aversion to paying tax.

“That wasn’t really what I was think of,” I said.  “Because all of their assets are frozen.”

This was the sort of joke that took a while to work out.  After some explanations, my children once again came to the conclusion that their father wasn’t a comedian.

I took one last stab at it.  “Why was the little strawberry so sad?”

No one seemed to know.  “Because all of her family was in a jam!”

Elise seemed to find this joke funnier than the rest – mainly because she doesn’t understand high brow humor at this level, but does like laughing with everyone else. 

People take aim at Dad Jokes a lot of the time.  They think they are corny and not particularly funny – or at least not funny enough to tell in public.  If it is your dad who is telling the jokes, it is probably quite embarrassing.  “Why can’t he be quiet like my friend’s dads?  Or actually funny for once?”

Humor is something that is underrated as a way to lift the spirits.  “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine; but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)

There is something worthwhile when a conversation can turn to humor – even if it is for a brief detour.  There is only so much time that can be devoted to serious topics and with a high level of earnestness comes mental fatigue.

Maybe it is time to appreciate the patron saints of corny humor, dads, who make it their life’s goal to figure out ways to weave puns into every day conversations. 

Sometimes, we simply need someone to ask the important questions in life, like, “How do farmers get the water in the watermelons?”

"They plant them in the spring!”

 

 (I guess I’ll show myself out now)…