"Elliot, don't touch my doll!" Victoria yelled at her brother across the room and then paused as she tried to think of a sufficiently terrible consequence for his continued misbehavior. "You'll get Coronavirus if you do!"
Even my children have figured out the life is different now. They are working at home, aggravating each other (more than usual), and not seeing their friends, either at school or church. All of this because of a tiny virus that has settled on the United States and Europe in a major way.
As COVID-19 sweeps across our nation and the world, each of us has different responses to it. These responses based on our own experiences, the presence (or lack of presence) of the virus in our communities, how much it has affected our lives and businesses, and our own personalities. At the same time, it feels as though many of us are experiencing this in the stages of grief that Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross described in 1969 of people dealing with a terminal illness.
The stages begin with Denial. I suppose I see this a lot right now. Many are convinced that the numbers are cooked, that COVID 19 isn't as bad as people say. Maybe doctors and hospitals are getting paid extra to fake this diagnosis (they aren't). Most of the people who have died already had terminal illnesses.
Perhaps there are other things that I haven't heard or read. I think a lot of us pass through this stage. For me, I went through it a couple of months ago when I hoped, against hope, that COVID-19 would stay in China or at least be contained in Europe and we, in America, just wouldn't have to deal with it.
It is here and no amount of denial will change that fact.
The next stage is Anger. The biggest problem with COVID-19 is that it represents a loss of control. Modern medicine and the CDC have let us down. We are stuck, helpless to protect ourselves except with a level of isolation that tears at our very spirits. We desire human contact and technology like Skype and Zoom just isn't the same.
There is plenty of wrath to go around. Some is directed at China, some at Dr. Fauci, and much is directed at the politicians who could have handled things better and maybe still aren't doing great. While anger is an understandable emotion in dealing with a crisis, it can really hinder our ability to think clearly and to understand who we can really trust.
Unfortunately, the people who stoke the anger the most are usually selling something, even if they keep it hidden for the most part in a back room.
Bargaining is the next phase. I suppose this can manifest in people trying to get prescriptions for Plaquenil and Zithromax from their doctors, "Just in case." Or maybe it is going out and buying all the toilet paper and hand sanitizer you can find.
Once again, this is all about gaining control of a situation that has no easy answers. It is a combination of fear and loss of control that leads people to try get medications and in the absence of that, even to swallow fish tank cleaner.
Depression is the next step and for people who have been isolated and have been bombarded by dark news reports, this is a small step. I have seen and talked to many people who are struggling mightily with depression and anxiety right now. They are worried about their finances and families, about the healthcare workers, and the world in general. There is so little they can do to help and fear and anxiety slowly ramp up.
It seems as though the little slivers of hope in our days are slim and far apart. It can feel as though the battle with discouragement is one that is futile. Nothing is further from the truth.
All of these stages are negative, but the final stage is the step of Trust. Kubler-Ross's stages of grief ended with acceptance, but for me, this is not adequate. Dealing with any crisis is not about acceptance of the crisis, it is rather about learning to love and trust my Savior more.
Proverbs 3:5,6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths."
Our own ways lead places like denial, anger, and depression, but His ways lead to hope and light.
It is in the time of drought that we need our wells the most. It is in a time of COVID that we need to trust our Savior most of all.
