Descented

 I cannot smell very well, right now. This, of course, is different from saying that I don’t smell good. What I am saying, is that I have a cold and I have temporarily lost my ability to detect different aromas.

In some ways, this could be a good thing. When I can’t smell, suddenly I have no need for cologne or, deodorant. In fact, once a week baths seem too frequent.

Of course, I am being facetious. There is a need for cleanliness, whether or not I personally can detect the benefit. Just because I can’t smell at a certain point does not mean that everyone else has lost their ability to appreciate odors.

There is a tendency in a marriage to believe that just because I do not appreciate certain things, that my spouse does not either. I, for example, do not appreciate being sent flowers, but this does not mean that Elaine feels the same way.

The Bible tells us in the famous “Golden Rule” to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This is a good rule of thumb in many situations, but in a marriage, unfortunately, it tends to fall flat.

If you get your wife a belt-sander just because you would have enjoyed receiving one, you are bound to catch a little flack as a result. In the same way, if wives choose to get their husbands a brand-new "man-bag," they would probably have similar responses.

A better rule is to “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.” Make the effort to think about what your wife or husband enjoys. If you don’t know, ask them. Suddenly, your ability to please them will improve a hundred-fold.

Life flies by and the little pleasures will stay with me long down the road.  I may not always have time to stop and “smell the roses,” but my wife still appreciates as many as I care to send her way.

 

The Size of a Life

A hummingbird got into our garage and I found it, exhausted on a shelf.  Unable to rise, it lay there and I was uncertain if it was still alive until I took its tiny body in my hand and felt it attempting to flutter its wings.

It was so small, defenseless against me.  I gently took it outside and opened my hand and waited.  In a few moments, the tiny bird began to beat its wings and then flew off.

As I watched it go, I knew that it is not size that makes a life important. Though I could have crushed the life out of this tiny bird with a little squeeze of my hand, it would have broken my heart to do so.

While I had nothing to do with giving this tiny bird life.  It still seemed beautiful and valuable to me and I knew there was heavenly Father who had seen it fall trembling within my garage.

It made me wonder about abortion.  For, what kind of doctor can reach out and deliberately snuff out a life that is growing inside an expectant mother?

I know that my heavenly Father does not value a life differently, just because it is small and defenseless.  He it is who opens His hands to receive in those fragile ones who go from this earth unloved, undesired, and unborn.

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.  But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."  Matthew 10:29-31

Car Seat Distress

It was just forty-five minutes after we had left home that the crying started.  Elliot, just eighteen months old at the time, was tired of sitting in his car seat.  No amount of offered activities or toys would console him.

Still we drove on.  If Elliot had only known, we were taking this trip, both to visit the zoo and to see his grandparents.  Even so, I doubt that understanding this would have made much of a difference.  He was just fed up with his car seat and the trip.

As I think of the journey that I have travelled, there have been many moments where I was not too different from my son.  I knew God's promises, but I did not really believe that He was taking me anywhere that I really wanted to go.

Verses like Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end" would rise before me and I was unable to see it.  For I could not see how the results of such a journey could be a blessing.

My Father is wise and He leads me well.  Every hard journey has had a blessing in the end -- some of them found in the midst of darkest days. 

Giver or Taker?

The offering plate passed from person to person in the row in front of us.  I gave my son, Vince, two, one dollar bills to put in the basket.

He clutched them in his small, three-year old hand.  The man beside me handed me the basket and I held it down for Vince.  Reluctantly, he deposited the dollar bills in the basket and then, just as I was about to pass it on, he grabbed a twenty dollar bill out of the plate.

Of course, I made him put it back right away.  Then, I passed the basket on quickly, before he could start rifling through the checks.

Yet, if I am honest, my tendency is to emulate my son's behavior.  I give two, but expect twenty in return.

Vince can be excused, for he doesn't really understand the value of money -- to him, it's just green pieces of paper, but I do understand.  Even as I over value my contributions to Christ's kingdom, I tend to minimize and even forget His daily gifts for me.

John F. Kennedy said famously "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."  In the same way, we ought to givers -- men and women who give without the thought, much less the expectation of something in return.

To tell the truth, it doesn't matter how much I give to God, I am the winner in the end.  For I have found that when you give whole heartedly, you don't have to take, instead God gives to you in ways that you never imagined He would.

Insomnia

"I'm not getting any lighter," the elderly man moaned as he stepped on the scale.  "Problem is that my chair is just too close to my refrigerator."

We walked back to the exam room, his wife trailing along behind.

"So," I asked him.  "What brings you in today?"

"Well, Doc," Robert said.  "I've been having trouble sleeping.  It just feels like I never get into a deep sleep and then I wake up and can't go back to sleep.  It makes me tired all of the time."

I asked him a number of questions and then I asked him "Do you drink many caffeinated drinks each day?"

"No, not really," he said.

At this point, his wife broke her silence.  "Come on, Bob," she said.  "You drink a lot of caffeine."

"Well, I do drink a couple of cups of coffee every morning..." Robert began.

"You drink coffee all day!" Fay interrupted him.  "And when you're not drinking that, you're drinking Diet Mountain Dew."

Robert shrugged.  "I suppose you are right."

I looked at Robert.  "I think that's a good part of your problem.  Caffeine is a stimulant and even if you could drink that much when you were younger, it is probably keeping you from resting well now."

"I never thought of that," Robert said.

"I've told you a hundred times you needed to cut back," his wife said.

"But where did you get your medical degree from?"  Robert shot back. "The University of Bolgna?"

This encounter made me sad for a couple of reasons.  First of all, Robert's wife, after many years of marriage had not learned how to truly communicate with her husband.  Communication is not the same thing as speaking.  Rather it is the encouragement of conversation, the beginning of dialogue.

Even worse though, was the fact that Robert was not able to accept good advice, because it came from the wrong source.

I would never refuse to open a package because it had the wrong color bow, but all too often I refuse to accept a message because it arrived too early in the morning or, the messenger was wearing the wrong style of pants.

In the end, it is crucial to identify good advice (and criticism), regardless of the source.  For, if I ignore such advice, it is not the person who gives the advice who suffers, but I, who cannot accept words of admonition.

Stillness

There is a real tendency to equate busyness with importance.  This is true on both a personal level and in business, as well.

It is really hard for me to deal with this, because I do tend to fill up my schedule to the maximum and feel pressure to push past that point.  At the same time, I don't deal very well with unscheduled down time.

On vacations, I need to have something to do every day.  Lounging around is not enough.  I will be intentional about my times of relaxation, even if it destroys any sense of restfulness that might be there.

At the same time, I benefit just as much as anyone with the times of stillness and quietness, when my spirit can truly commune with God.  When I can write and pray in solitude and not feel the pressures of the day beating down on my life, I truly gain strength.

I know that many people have "bucket lists" -- things that they want to do someday, places they want to go.  As I write my list, I realize that quietness needs to move up.  In fact, maybe sometimes I need to stop writing lists and just learn to be still.

He Knows Me

Richard was sitting in my office for the first time since getting home.  He had spent two weeks in the hospital after having had a myocardial infarction (a heart attack).

One by one, we went over the changes in his medications.  There really were not many changes, just a new blood thinner and increased dosage of his blood pressure medication.

"I'm going to be going back to see my cardiologist in a couple of weeks," Richard told me.  "Would it be OK if I come in to see you after that?"

"Sure," I said.  "But I would trust him.  He is a heart specialist, you know."

"Yes," Richard responded seriously.  "But you know me."

This was what was important to him.  The cardiologist might be a brilliant doctor, but how could he know was the best medication for Richard, if he didn't really know Richard, the way I did?

God is the Lord of the Universe, the Ruler of the Million Galaxies, yet that is not a particularly compelling reason for me to trust Him.

It is perhaps for this reason that David explores a different theme in Psalm 139.  "O Lord, you have searched me and known me..."  This personal knowledge implies more than just omniscience, it indicates love and caring.  God has chosen to know me, to hear me and see me, wherever I am.

I can trust God to choose good paths for me, not just because He is wise (which He is).  I can trust Him, because He cares enough to know me.

No Dolphins

 

Anna and Vince were in a pretty hard to please state of mind when we went to the zoo.  Honestly, every time we said "Look Vince, a tiger!" (or whatever other animal we were looking at), Vince would reply emphatically "No Tiger!"

Then, when we left, Elaine asked Anna what her favorite animal was.  Anna thought just a little bit and the said "Dolphins."

Now, there are no dolphins at the Louisville Zoo.  "No," Elaine said.  "What was your favorite animal of the ones that we saw at the zoo?"

Anna said again, "Dolphins," and then as if to explain, she said, "I wish we had gone to a zoo that had dolphins at it."

Now, it has been a long time since we didn't go to the dolphin show at the Indianapolis Zoo, but Anna still remembers it quite well.  Yet, it does her no good to bring it up after we visited a very fine zoo and it only serves to make her seem ungrateful.

And it strikes me that the Father of Lights have given me many good gifts and even some perfect gifts.  And I see them and turn up my nose at them for, though they are nice, they are not really what I wanted.

And this does not make me feel any better, in fact, it makes my out look much gloomier than it should be.  Then too, it makes my heavenly Father displeased.  For, all of the good things He has planned for me are completely wasted by one ungrateful breath.


(This was written after a visit to the zoo in February of this year.  We went last Saturday and everybody had a much better time)...

Airport Bathroom Struggles

I was standing in a bathroom at an airport when a young boy caught my eye. He was in a stall and was experiencing great difficulties. He was trying to figure out how to flush a commode with an automatic flush device on it.

He started off pushing on the back of the toilet. Then, he began to hit it with his hands. Finally, when nothing else worked, he lined up and kicked it, like an NFL player making a game-winning field goal. Nothing happened. Disgusted and frustrated, he began to walk away when “hey presto” the toilet flushed itself.

Too often I am like this lad.  I push and pull at things I do not understand, trying to get them to work out. Rather than patiently waiting, I forge ahead.

Finally, when nothing works, I step aside and God, with a simple wave of His hand, flushes away my troubles. If only I had started with Him in the first place!